For Walking in my Life ~Thanks

With you all in my heart I swing ~you all swing  And  Thus we live

With you all in my heart
I swing ~you all swing
And
Thus we live~ we continue to live

This is for You ~ You ~ You ~You and You …Many Many You(s) who have walked in my life and made it so so beautiful and meaningful. You have walked in my life in many different beautiful forms~ in the form of laughter, in the form of bond, in books, in all those pink gifts that you bring for me from every where~ from spectacles from Newroad to cute pink clips from Singapore to scarf from France to pink socks from Japan to cute pink horse from USA~or a pink diary from Denmark~a pink phone cover from amazon (: or in the form of pink chaubandi from dhoj ko pasal or in the form of pen drive from Mahabaudha ~ or in the form of jhol momo talk  or in the form of soul sister in twitter #dm in the form of the sweetest self made birthday card or in the form of the first greeting card in my post box from California ~ or in the form of somebody who cares me more than myself or in the form of immense love ~ intense love ~ over a cup of Herbal Tea at our small cozy table.

I have always been the most pampered one in every relation that I have maintained with you all~you have been greatest bearer of my nastiness and sweetest sweetness and  truly an integral part of my little heart. I don’t know my small physical heart has kept all the emotions that I feel for you all so clear ~ and I wonder how you all carry me in your heart where ever you go~ how special I am to you all and how I can’t imagine my life without you all. Continue reading

Constant Change

You are utterly silent. You don’t speak up with anyone and act normal putting up the same smile that you have been doing for long and that you are habituated with. You bottle up yourself, you don’t share and you lock your feelings, sufferings inside the invisible bottle you have formed inside yourself. You had a bad dream and you live with the fear that if one day that dream will come true. You have been horrified by it. Yet, you don’t express your horror. But you control yourself. But you don’t speak out. How much speaking it out important? And how much it is necessary to control yourself and not speaking out? How long you bound yourself but not speaking and breaking the circle you are moving for so long and that you are already tired of? Yet, you don’t speak, do you?

All because of the ‘Fear’: Fear of situational changes, fear of behavioral changes, fear of pressure, fear of anxieties and most importantly fear of losing. How bad are we at losing? The fear of losing already gives us anxieties. What after when we lose in real? Is all the time winning the most important? Or it is just that you are tired of losing? Tired of losing all the very time and don’t want to lose anymore. Will not it be monotonous? At sometime will you not be tired of your own monotony? Continue reading

Dreams ??

Close the eyes and dream tonight

Don’t dream old

Dream something new this time

Is it the brain or heart ?

Which one sketches the dreams of mine?

Twisting and Turning —

Turning and twisting all over the night

 Viewing a view seen only with the closed eyes..

Continue reading

Sunday blues !

This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..

………………………………..

He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…

Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….

Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..

I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….

Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….

Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading

You are….

Many Many Thanks to Shilpi Joshi ( Didi ) Amazing Tibet

You are….

Just as  amazing  as the above picture….

You come up with surprises…..

You come up with love….

You bring love when the clouds above fall…

You come and mix up with me….

Like water falling in the river….

As if we were never unknown…to each other….

You come up with dreams ……. Continue reading

Beautiful ???

How it is easy to forget the past? A friend of mine told me long time ago that “You have two keys, one to lock your past and another to open your future”. By the way how it is easy to forget our past ?

Well not very easy than we think. Time and again past haunts us as a nightmare. It haunted me…. didn’t it haunt you ? Every time I try to get away from it  but every time I fail. Just instances are here and there every where… Continue reading

Epiphanic

It hurts to know that you are being unable to understand someone so much close to heart. This much close that you are hooked up with feelings every time… and everywhere…and at the end you will know you were just so stupid not to understand it….Well, I am feeling like I am reading Maths again…Maths….Oops…something  so far away from my mind….I can never forget “SET” , where there used to be rounds and rounds…….I never understood it….So, I am among those who says 2 + 2 = 5. How poor I was..I could not even answer any question in Facebook’s quiz….

What happens somtimes…..so many chapters to be read….what the hell I am doing here….

Aggressive….today I am feeling aggressive…and I am writing monologue after so long…which truly I don’t want to write Continue reading