For Walking in my Life ~Thanks

With you all in my heart I swing ~you all swing  And  Thus we live

With you all in my heart
I swing ~you all swing
And
Thus we live~ we continue to live

This is for You ~ You ~ You ~You and You …Many Many You(s) who have walked in my life and made it so so beautiful and meaningful. You have walked in my life in many different beautiful forms~ in the form of laughter, in the form of bond, in books, in all those pink gifts that you bring for me from every where~ from spectacles from Newroad to cute pink clips from Singapore to scarf from France to pink socks from Japan to cute pink horse from USA~or a pink diary from Denmark~a pink phone cover from amazon (: or in the form of pink chaubandi from dhoj ko pasal or in the form of pen drive from Mahabaudha ~ or in the form of jhol momo talk  or in the form of soul sister in twitter #dm in the form of the sweetest self made birthday card or in the form of the first greeting card in my post box from California ~ or in the form of somebody who cares me more than myself or in the form of immense love ~ intense love ~ over a cup of Herbal Tea at our small cozy table.

I have always been the most pampered one in every relation that I have maintained with you all~you have been greatest bearer of my nastiness and sweetest sweetness and  truly an integral part of my little heart. I don’t know my small physical heart has kept all the emotions that I feel for you all so clear ~ and I wonder how you all carry me in your heart where ever you go~ how special I am to you all and how I can’t imagine my life without you all. Continue reading

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Constant Change

You are utterly silent. You don’t speak up with anyone and act normal putting up the same smile that you have been doing for long and that you are habituated with. You bottle up yourself, you don’t share and you lock your feelings, sufferings inside the invisible bottle you have formed inside yourself. You had a bad dream and you live with the fear that if one day that dream will come true. You have been horrified by it. Yet, you don’t express your horror. But you control yourself. But you don’t speak out. How much speaking it out important? And how much it is necessary to control yourself and not speaking out? How long you bound yourself but not speaking and breaking the circle you are moving for so long and that you are already tired of? Yet, you don’t speak, do you?

All because of the ‘Fear’: Fear of situational changes, fear of behavioral changes, fear of pressure, fear of anxieties and most importantly fear of losing. How bad are we at losing? The fear of losing already gives us anxieties. What after when we lose in real? Is all the time winning the most important? Or it is just that you are tired of losing? Tired of losing all the very time and don’t want to lose anymore. Will not it be monotonous? At sometime will you not be tired of your own monotony? Continue reading

Dreams ??

Close the eyes and dream tonight

Don’t dream old

Dream something new this time

Is it the brain or heart ?

Which one sketches the dreams of mine?

Twisting and Turning —

Turning and twisting all over the night

 Viewing a view seen only with the closed eyes..

Continue reading

Sunday blues !

This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..

………………………………..

He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…

Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….

Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..

I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….

Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….

Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading

You are….

Many Many Thanks to Shilpi Joshi ( Didi ) Amazing Tibet

You are….

Just as  amazing  as the above picture….

You come up with surprises…..

You come up with love….

You bring love when the clouds above fall…

You come and mix up with me….

Like water falling in the river….

As if we were never unknown…to each other….

You come up with dreams ……. Continue reading

Cool…December Treat…

WOW..Fantastic

I am feeling overwhelmed after today’s rain. The wet roads , wet everywhere and the cool air when it hit my face while driving. Simply its awesome and I am feeling so cool after a long time. The cool and cold are different things at least for me it is different because I cool enivonment is wht  simply love . ( And I love being in rain )

Unfortunately , this time too I was sleeping while it rained after such a long interval of time.  Unlucky me..could not get wet ..

After umm months rain has arrived. The wait for the Novemember rain had left me with no hopes but December  see december gave me such an wonderful treat. Rainfall !!! Rainfall !!! HUrrey..HUrrey…

Wonderful chill

I am not getting ill

I want to feel

Yes the Chill

The feeling is such a charismatic that also while driving and feeling the cool waves getting through the poers of my body, letting the cool flow in my veins and the coolness creating freshness in me. The warmth of freshness is different. To look outside typing these words is even wonderful , I am feeling the cool waves.

How much wonderful it would have been if I were wet, like Rohika didi , Di I am really jealous that you got wet that also while driving. No I wanted to fele the same but poor poor me , I slept, I slept …feeling the warmth of sirak and wasn’t moving even when I hear the big big drops falling …and mom shouting kasto Pani paryo…hare…

I had desperately waited for the November rain but there was no rainfall throughout November, I had no hopes and nothing but was thinking of snowfall in Feburary unlike last..not last..last+ last year that how nature graced Kathmanduties with wonderfulk snowfall..poor me that time too I was sleeping. This sleeping habit has made me lose so many wonders of life. I am thinking of changing this habit a new new year’s resolution, unlike every year.

But would my wait of November Rain be compensated by the December rain. I know how much I was desperate for the November Rain, so many friends know this. Would December’s wonderful treat give me the feelings of such romantica that I had wanted to feel through the cool cool December Rain. I am asking this question to myself , am I enjoying this cool december rain fall.

Definately, I am enjoying this rainfall but it would have been better if this same rain had fall on November. November Rain I had dreamt whatever, but see here December has arrived with rain..perhaps I must say december is gong away lefting me the sweet reminisense of this cool I am feeling right now, which I had wanted desperately in Novembr , let me say through Rain in November Rain. Would December Rain compensate for November Rain, no or yes, no or yes, yes or no…..What…Whatever..dream…..

Yes I am enjoying this …feeling the hot hot cup of Coffee..though not Mocha,,,at Java..but near here at Durbarmarg..ummm Kingsway..City Cafe..hehe hot hot treat incool December eve….Enjoyed a lot…

P.S. Loved it so much..enjoyed it so much..Thanks December..forthis wonderful treat…..that left me with…such a wonderful feeling…Shall cherish it..this whole year…hehe…(Next year too I shall wait for November …rain…)..and next year FEB snow……in2009….

Loved it ..so much….

Untitled

A feeling so lone..

The calm eyes shone..

Thumping heart..wants to believe..in each beat..

But mind controls it…says don’t believe it..

A feeling so strange..

A feeling so sacred..

The stillness..of the emotions..till this day…

Yes…still in the hues

When I see the still image…throuh this internet…

I laugh at my helplessness…

Chosen STAR ran away…

Chosen STAR runs away..

Runs away…

Ran away…