The Umbrella

Outside was ignored

As we were busy hearing

Each others’ Inside

Rain was a minimal thing

We were indifferent to the world

While hearing only

Each others’ unshared tale

And it rainedout this November

This 9 Euro eye shadow still glows in my dressing table and in my utter mood swings it glows eyes too. This is special. This is November Again, which is equally special. 29 November days have already passed and I have been waiting for the rain like previous years. But all this month the sun shone brightly making me more anxious and apprehensive. The more sun shone, the more anxious and apprehensive I became. There were no any signs of rain. Where are the impregnated clouds with rain this November? Where have they gone? For me, rain has something special about it but more special for me are rare rains like those in April and November here. Some memories are hidden at the depth of sub-conscious and it lies there stagnant and safe. Thinking of deleting it? -Not Applicable ~ do you like to erase it – they are inerasable. This is the very photographic memory of yours. Alas! I never let you to photograph me ~ while I snapped you unconsciously through my eyes and kept you safe in my sub-conscious. Like you, November Rain also ensconces in my sub-conscious somewhere. What is special about November Rain is what is special about you. You both are quite synonymous for me that is to say you both are supplement and complement of each other.

People say and I try to believe but never can I on a serious note – “Every ending is a new beginning”. But when this comes at the very personal level the depth where it actually ends is never reached. It never ends until and unless one wants to end it. Trying to end is perhaps possible but ending it completely is just not possible ~ it always lies in the sub-conscious. I never let it end. Do you remember April? The month when we met for the first time, wasn’t it destined?  As soon as I reached home, the tiny droplets drifting away from the sky fell over my head and the very moment I receive a text from you “April Rain”. Your short text messages killed me seriously. As I read, re-read your text “April Rain” again and again, the color of my cheeks gradually changed.

Rainy Date !!!!

Just a mere imagination….!!! ( written from a guy’s perspective )

While the clouds start falling and making everything wet…Something inside me gets energized….something starts getting emotional… and I become more and more romantic…and when I think of you in this stage of romantica my heart starts pounding up…and I start imagining the time…the most beautiful time….

I sms you…saying “its raining dear…how are you ?, you might catch cold dear…do take care…and please don’t go anywhere in rain” . But inside my mind things are different dear…I think of you and me in the air….( ha ha rhyming ) I mean in the rain…

I know how much you love rain dear, so I am planning a rainy date for us…You and I , an umbrella and rain…only rain…and of course our favourite “Coffee” ….and nothing else…

Let the rain, rain such that it is so moderate…sim-sim-sim ( Hehey! ) Not sim-sim-sim…a little more than that…

Drops that Fell

Finally rain touched my inner soul today. The coolness that I wanted to feel has touched the inner part of me…My heart beat fast and fast with the drops that were falling from sky and were wetting me while I was driving. That was gifted I think and is gifted because I LOVE RAIN…and I do love it ardently. The coolness creates a kind of passion in me which turns out to heat my body touching the innermost part of what I call soul is.

The touch of the rain drops like the touch of ………….. The one whom I gave my heart, the one who belongs to me…whose soul is overlapped in mines….”The Invisible”

Every time the sense of romantica, feeling of passion with bloods that flow through my veins strikes my heart to beat fast and fast. Lets me breathe the fresh air that rain brings with it but with the each breathe I breathe, the feeling haunts me because the fresh air is making my heart beat and making the soul alive which reminds me of the one closer so much closer to the soul.

It creates passion within me. Like today..while the rain fell while I was driving…I was enjoying the tiny water droplets that fell in my face, my hands and my clothes…The very moment I feel cold entering through my clothes..touching my body and likewise it was slowly slowly entering my soul…“soul” where there lies a passion, a feeling so sacred that is preserved for sure…for the one who is invisible to me. With whom I am totally unknown and with whom I am totally known. Whose presence aware me and whose presence let me forget. This happens occasionally that I encounter with that part of “soul” my soul, I encounter with myself…Where the invisible lies…

“The invisible” that’s me !!!. True part whom I know and whom I don’t know.

Thus, the rain reminds me of that “self” who is awakened only with the freshness and coolness that touches my soul, and makes it fresh. As if I was sleeping and I have been just awakened with those little dew drops that slowly enter my soul every time it falls. Everytime with the same freshness and with the same vitality awakening the invisible in me!! That is guiding me and telling about me who I am after all, and what is that I aspire for and doing everything.

So, I am desperate for rain as always…it creates a passion in me and it energizes me everytime it wets earth…and likewise it wets my soul….

Its raining!!!

It is raining so hard outside making me shake because of clod. Guess what I am enjoying the rain. A collegue at my office just came being wet. I wished I could go and dance in the rain. Being health conscious and of course because of being at office I am I can’t go there and dance. I wish I were at home..but mom would kill me….so I wished I had no bike…and no umbrella and I were walking in the rain. ( It is because I hate rain while driving so I imagine myself walking ). Seems todays rain’s gonna rock !!! and I am right now tuned to Times FM  ( Of course in my new mobile yes the touch screen Motorola…oh I ma loving it..but I really don’t know how to use it ) and finished listening to the romantic song “Tere ore” and RJ is informing about Katrina Kaif…let me change the station now..but seems a nice song…romantic of course something  “Apne to Apne” I have never heard the song. I need to change because this RJ is making me go mad ….

I am tuned into Radio Nepal..yes my office…ummm and I am hearing News..English ..but I think I cant hear this too because I need some romantic songs to light me up today coz the rain is making me go round round and round…..Yes I am feeling..feeling what..the cold..of course..but this coldness has something charm in it. I am little sick today. ( Times FM again and the song is Timi lai bhetne…timi sanga bolne by Nabin K. Bhattrai..tell me poo is not the song matching with the situation and did you get what Sweti is feeling ).

Yeah..this season change is hard to handle by me evergreen…coughing….sneezing season…and this time right now I am missing hot coffee …of my mom’s hand….( I think poo is going for the another coffee break…and I am jealous…let me ask her…yes she is online and I am talking to her as well ). Outside it is raining..and I am feeling something. Something obscure…something so good to feel ….something ….yes something….here in the heart..( UGH!!! this RJ …comeon “doshain” she is pronouncing “Dashain” ..who will hear her…). Hits FM….and english love songs and would I be able to handle these overflowing feelings….GOD…..

Will be back in a while…I want to go outside and feel the rain….the chill not the drops of rain…

Hey I am back after few seconds…and seems the rain calmed little bit. Incessant…..love the word….Incessant..rain…and incessant feelings…they are all same for me…The sweet air waves and the cool breezes…and my cheeks are freezing…but my hand is hot because I never had cold hands in the severest winter…This song in my ear right now…though I have never heard ever…is so cool…its love song indeed…the lyrics is good too…”I am the man who can’t be moved”.

The rain has stopped I think…yeah…just few drops are falling…No, seems it has not stopped yet…..No coffee here at my office..no one to give hot water..too but if it were Radio Nepal…so many cups of hot tea..but I never drank just a big glass of hot water is what I love the most. I am remembering to read “The Alchemist” …..

The weather is making me creative….and I am hearing Nepali songs in Sagarmatha FM…I love Nepali songs that are romantic…some are really good and I love peppy songs too. I just remember song matching with situation by Nalina Chitrakar..”Pani Pani bhayo Mero maan Pani “…( My heart’s too being watery ) Wow another song that I love in my ear ….Birano Pardeshi ..by I don’t know who….but I love this song…and I know the lyrics..and I am humming too…”Bhana bhana ye birano Pardeshi”.

So, these thoughts are being generated in my heart..because of the weather so romantic and these extremely romantic songs are enlightening me to write..encouraging me to recollect my feelings..feelings so obscure…I don’t know what is this thing I am feeling..a chill in my heart…a cool feeling in my heart..I don’t know what I am feeling….something chiso…chiso(cold)…something so good…like drinking a cold coffee that day….while I was feeling so hot…

I wish I were at home..watching TV and eating hot hot things that mom would be cooking and Hot coffee…but hey would I be blogging..no no I would not be…so I am happy here at office because My boss is not here and no one around me…the door is open and cool air is entering here at my office..it is still raining…

I remeber some words  —–should I censor..no no let me write-: ” Cloud has sliver lining..and it ends up being rain, u do love rain right Sweta”.

Let me check has poo gone to another coffee break…..I am real jealous hai..poo please don’t mind honey…