Sunday blues !

This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..

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He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…

Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….

Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..

I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….

Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….

Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading

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Void

Void ——- You created

Mystries and all….

Lost ……………….

And to be never found…..

Like a wonderful pearl…..

Deep !! so much Deep….

Like in the ocean Blue…

The void has created hole….

For you it is easy…..

For me….I suffer it alone…

Hard….
Continue reading

Phonemic hangover…

You utter….

I utter….

We both utter…

Phonemes together….

Whisper…we do it..together

Hard to listen….
Continue reading

Vows !!!!

I left you miles and miles away……

With vows to meet again…..

I try to behold….your image….

In the clouds…I ‘d flown away…

In the waves….I’d sailed …….

Feels like you are here….

In the air…clouds…and waves… Continue reading

Its you everytime…

I try to avoid you…get away from you but I you are so attached that you cannot be left away so easily…Things remind me of you….so much….I got an old newspaper…with something rolled in it…and guess what there was your name….Phew !!…I cannot tolerate…

You are like a boil…..painful…..Very much indeed…which needs  a lot of hardship to throw…all the white blood cells in my body could not fight with the bacteria…What about antibiotic tablets..but those tablets failed , as I failed….I could not drain you…because it was too painful…nor could I do avoid the pain….

How long I could stand like this…Its damn painful…God…I needed treatment… Continue reading

Missing !!!!

Desperateness kills me……

Inside….

Something is missing….

Within me…..

Soul I have….mine

But Yours….

Its missing…..

Vacant mind….demands….

Demands!!!

The thoughts of you…

This desperateness……… Continue reading

Intermitting Soul

Body you interment everyday…

Come on bury my soul today….

Bury my soul….in the tomb or burn it in the pyre….

Can you interment a soul?? It is a challenge to you…

Don’t want to sell my soul as Faustus did….

Don’t want to suicide as Hamlet did…..

I want to live a life ….intermitting my soul within…

Intermitting the soul Yes!!! The act of burying the soul!!!

For my survival….for my body’s survival….!!!!

I want to remove the concreteness of my soul….

My passionate appeals…were lost…

They were concrete though….

I received a cold answer…no one can interment a soul…

Let the die then….to let the soul be in freedom…

I then try to contemplate, searching the reasons of survival…

Then I remorse, I feel guilt for intermitting soul

I need to live that is a harsh reality’s…presence

There is the need of soul DW for the biological existence……

( I really don’t know why I wrote this…these words…are they harsh…I am not intermitting my soul…I is the protagonist…do not confuse it with me….)