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Are you – A Warrior?

Dear Friend,

And ~ within all of us there is a warrior ~ There is The Bhairav – Photo by Kishor K Sharma ( Thanks a lot )

Like it was never before – have you ever tried to evaluate yourself through your own understanding of your self? By the way – do you totally understand yourself? Is it necessary to understand yourself? Where are your inner demons? How comfortable do you feel while moving with your inner demons? What theory do you use to differentiate in between  the Good and the Bad. After all whom do you call good? And whom will you regard as the Bad.

Have you ever thought about that? About how do you keep on fighting with your little invisible heart -Have you ever imagine how can little heart preserve all those threads that you call “feelings”. And now, you have created a web out of it – entangled and overlapped ~ yes all the feelings. Why don’t it act like the spider web and hold the self?

Hey~ what are your thoughts on Self? Do you realize how far have you traveled? We have always been asked the same question of “Where do you see yourself after five years?” – But let me ask you one question ~ “Where were you before five years?” Have you crawled over the mountains of fear, anxiety and helplessness and reached atop to come back again – to fall again- then to climb again.

Jaat Sodhnu Jogi Ko..

Fantastic !!!

WOW..I am spellbounded because I am laughing till today remembering the evidences of the drama I watched last Saturday. Such an wonderful representation of human predicament created in the form of laughter. A way the writer has presented himself and the director trying to make the audience think and think over the matter and contemplate I did the same.

In the introduction only it was said that the drama was very famous. At first I had thought seriously that this was a very serious. The issue was so much mind captivating. The wonderful dialogues and the wonderful characters make the play more and more interesting . The more you watch the play the more you feel energy for laughing. The more you get deep into it. You never know how the one hour went off.

The setting of the play at first Kathmandu city and after that a rural village. The protagonist of the play “Mai Narayan Gharti” played and splendidly potrayed by Sunil Pokherel is still in my mind. The expressive dialogues and the soliloquy of the character was really wonderful. The whole dramatic element was presented very much well. Everyone did their job very much nicely. Each character played by the actors was splendid.

Another Gurukul masterpiece , the paly made me contemplate. When we look at the plot of the play too it is based on the contemporary realities and its a beautiful picture of the contemporatry realities. How much a person longs for the Master Degree, how much he longs for the job and how much he does to save the job.

Its a struggle of a person for study, for job, for his post and ofcourse for money, for the name Professor. I found myself in the character because of facing same problem. Longing to study hard, finding job not for money but for myself. The longing for study, the longing for the Professorship…

Also the students of rural area their language and the traces of simple modernism in them the way they talk, the way the rural grown-ups are all very much protrayed beautifully.

Anyways it was a real treat to me. It was so fun watching the play. I am feeling wonderful now too. Remembering the play. I am palnning to go there again to watch it. Again feel the laughter again hear the people laughing freakly freely..the drama hall  with all the laughter.

Hats off to the all….the actors and also Mr. Sunil Pokhrel and yes the director Anup Baral.

Finding Kali within Self

“A woman is the foundation of the world,

She is the true form of the body.

Whatever form she takes, is indeed the superior form.

There is not and has never been, nor will there be

Any holy yoga in comparison to woman,

No mystical formula or asceticism to match a woman.

There is not nor will there arr riches more valuable than woman”

I have been reading Sheeba Shivangangini Shah’s Beyond The illusion since many days. It is fascinating me a lot. However the book lacks so many things. It is really simple. I began reading other book The Namesake of Jhumpa Lahiri and thelanguage has a great flow. I am not undermining our own homeland writer but I think they need to learn a lot. I loved Samrat Upadhaya’s books..all of three and found them fascinating too. But this book is so much fascinating. It provides you many evidence to believe but it is quite strange.

So, I am fascinated because of the Tantra and Mantras , jadus and so many things in the book. But the most fascinating thing in the book for me happened the facts related to “kali” . I want to include the evidence I have heard , actually told by a friend -:

“Parvati is called Kali because ,once she was having a bath in the Parvati Kund in the Himalayas with two of her sakhis.She lived a life of an ascetic even though she was married to Shiva because Shiva was always in Samadhi. So on that day she was having this bath and she was dreaming of her husband. In the dream she was making love to him and this became unbearable to the waters and herself too, this in turn turned the waters black and her body burnt with the fire of passion. So she too beacme black. And hence known as Kali”

But Kali is really furious god I assume. Furious of all. The wide stretched arms, wide open fiery eyes and her red toungue lolling out…She is Kali powerful of all..the strongest of all..She is Kali …the dreadful god…Fearful too.

I am in the middle of the book, and I found lord Kali fascinatingly portrayed in the book which has finally grabbed my feelings towards Kali. There is a small portrait of Kali in my home and I see it time and again to watch this furious beauty..to get her strength , to be powerful, to be strong, to live life…To be her devotee.

Kali is the supreme power. The severest of all. Power to kill and give life. Power to enlighten and mesmerize.

I am mesmerized really…the black god…

I am trying to find her withing me. Where she resides, the book says. Either it is fiction, the accounts of Kali mata is really helping me to get energy from inside.I always undermine myself. I am so bad, I am so stupid but now not. Yes it is because of myself and also because of the book I am feeling that I am much more better. Its moreover because of Kali within me.

Yes, I am strong, yes Kali resides within me in my soul, in my heart, within me. I was unaware of my own capabilities. Yes the expedition, yes the haunt has begun to find Kali within me. I am hopeful to find her nowhere but within myself. I want to excavate her. I want to be her decent devotee. I want to find her out. Feel the power , show the power and feel the difference. Lets see where it takes me…

Here is the last line of the book -:

Indeed, in the beginning is Kali, in the end is Kali.

In between we remain mere illusionary phantoms

        of her divine inspiration.