Comfortable Silences

Picture by Swapnil Acharya. Poem below is for the picture

Picture by Swapnil Acharya. Poem below is for the picture

Reflection of mine -you are

I fall for you not only once, Time and again

As, I feel you as me..

This feeling is Narcissus too

Worry not, I won’t kill myself.

You are that Mirage

Far far away

No, I don’t want to catch you

But I will love to sit back

Just to stare and watch you!

The Reciprocation of Life:

“See these clay pots, I simply love them”

“But I don’t, as they give pain when they break”

“These are not just made up of clay, these are made up of emotions, feelings, love and determination”

Comfortably silent we are now as we both stare and smile at the clay pots ruminating in our own worlds, holding up the words and keeping a mum. I love this comfortable silence we have between our discussions and the discourse full of affection. You know I love your smile that replaces speech, I love your lustrous radiant eyes that reflects your inner feelings, I love your long long breathe which gives me as sigh that you are actually enjoying this comfortable silence that we are having in between. Do you feel it? I equally enjoy this silence between us. I hold up the clay cup in which you are drinking your favorite Americano and I feel the warmth of it. There is a pleasure of holding the cup made by someone from a distant land whom with love and affection, care and determination gave shape to this China cup.  Do you know with our silent conversation you are shaping my thoughts with much feeling, emotions and installing determination in me, installing courage in me?

“Do you know you reciprocate life in everything?” Continue reading

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Winged Dreams

Just a little dilemma..dreaming about wings or dreams are getting wings…..A hot coffee this cool evening…..strong…the laughter..and the fear….the disappointment..the rebel…the taste…the burning chest…and the sweet headache…must be two glass or cups….must be three…and then it goes…till ten…No, don’t want it now……..But…would love to….drink it tomorrow yet again……….with the same zest and same vitality…

The two chairs in front of each other, one occupied and the other with just the shadow, the smell, just this much. The two cups ordered, one with coffee and the other empty. And it goes on. Just the repetition nothing else and nothing more. Trying to revive the bygone but never it will be the same. Continue reading

Sunday blues !

This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..

………………………………..

He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…

Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….

Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..

I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….

Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….

Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading

Death be not proud !!!

Title is adapted from John Donne’s sonnet ” Death Be not Proud“.

Death is a mystery….

Well, I have not encountered death…To meet him/her I need to die once…Do I want to die ?  This time…No , of course I am scared of death…Why John Donne wrote that poem asking death not to be proud…? Why not Death should be proud ? It has got power. It takes life away…We battle a lot…we are battling till now…each day..everyday…and in the end…we lose…every time…every time…and every time….We lose in each battle… Continue reading

Oh Saturday

Waiting since the sunday comes, so many things undone to be done. What can one do in 24 hours. Sometimes I feel these 24 hours is not enough for me. But what the hell I am doing other than running. Running from home to college ( always late..If I will be on time then it would be a record ), then to this day office which is wacky too, then  to the place where I love work but seems like knowing so many things I am feeling somehow disillusioned. Then coming home in the time where I used to be alseep. Then eating the food which I really don’t want to eat because it is the time for me to sleep. But I need to eat, “Mandatory”. Then give sometime to books otherwise busy smsing ….

Sometimes I get sick of this that I have not prepared any notes and that my new competitor in class is going ahead. I am helpless the hard I try the hard I cannot do anything. Then I conclude I need few hours more for myself, without which I cannot stand.

I really don’t have time for myself, I needed to give sometime to family and my lone mom too but I don’t have time for myself. I hardly mangae to comb my hair while going to college and also never iron my pant and never polish my shoes..then what happenes would not I look messy..so much messy.. and my baby bride she needs a wash..but first I need to wash me nah !!

So, I am always waiting for this day yes saturday..since sunday starts..when I can have little time for myself and if I need to do things but Would I be able to do so, no I don’t. Perhaps I manage to rest. I become furious that I need to work on saturdays too. Yes my day office’s work going to brief the tour..which is wacky meeting guests but I think these were the best clients accepting everything I told..hehe…

Its hectic..managing to do so many things but not managing to think. I am losing my thinking power. My room so messy, all days I cannot wait mom to clean it, I feel ashamed too..but what can I do..day by day its getting messier, day by day I am not getting any time for me..

Losing thinking power is so much sad, I have not been listening to the inner voice that could have guided me..but see I don’t have time.

Its hard to wake up in the mornings and its more hard to run in this chilly cold days..

Helpless that I laugh sometimes at myself..

Saturdays I can have time like this..but still I am busy with internet.. and now what I am going to do is..getting vitamin D..yes the sun.. and its wow.. good night..oops good day…hehe..

lazy days.. lazy saturdays..i love this..hope this saturday be saturday forever.. but what tomorrow’s Sunday….again absurd schedule..its wacky..

P.S. Absurd life…Absurdity of this wonderful life…

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