Living your own dreams!

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I often forget that I am the character of my own dreams…
That distant imaginary, dreamy, blurry person is real & it is me…
It is sad that I often forget what long road I have traveled
And, what trauma that I carry within myself and that I keep alive
The pain, my friends is hurtful because I am the one, often hurting myself
Or thinking about that painful process
Fighting with myself and my own inner demons whom I never let fade away
But Friends,
I don’t lie when I tell you that I am living my own Goddam Dreams!
I question myself often: why this looming sadness, Sweta?
You seem happy, and how can you be so sad?
Well, I don’t know. I crossed very bad two weeks. But now I have come to my own terms on this weather we are blessed with, the clouds, trees, my swing, the land, the house, this pen, diary, every essence around me is echoing to me today:
Hey Girl, you are living your own dreams today!

Some hand written poetry today!

To write, again!

The gorgeous leaves at West Lafayette, November 2016.

It was true. Fall was majestic. It made me live color by color. Those gorgeous trees, fallen leaves, the smell of those maple trees filled me with immense sensuality. But, still ~ my fingers couldn’t type and I couldn’t write. 

I would capture trees one after another, their fallen leaves in my phone. I would collect those leaves one by one, color bycolor to keep them safe because I loved them. I would change my wallpapers in laptop, mobile, update my Facebook cover picture~ but still I wouldn’t write. I would refrain from writing.

The fallen Jacaranda leaves, Kathmandu, May 2016

 ( *Monologue* I would remember, I would miss ~ The purple Jacaranda blossom in Kathmandu~ both are beautiful ~ but no one wrote about that pretty blue fall with such an emotional intensity except Parijat~But, I desire to read more than that ~I yearn to feel it similar like the way I felt Fall in words). But it was true that Fall was installing a hope for happiness in me. It was true that it gave me joy to hold by. It gave made me feel love again. How? I don’t know! But, I can’t lie~ I was falling in love with the magic of nature for the umpteenth time. 

Mothic Future

I am looking at those fluttering moths

Hovering around the light so bright

In the midst of this dark night

Searching for the warmth they are …

Wanting the warmth..

Warmth that is all in vain..

I imagine a “mothic Future”..so much uncertain

They hover around to make themself warm

Unaware they are all in charm,

Getting the fake warmth

More moths came fluttering…

Hovering as others did..

Soon I observe,

Them falling

They are falling…

Oh my God said I…

“They are dying”..

Their future so uncertain…a mothic Future…dying in the end..

Dying from the warmth they need…

More Moths are falling, more and more are dying,

I am here observing,

A Mothic Future indeed.

Same as theirs..I imagine my future..yes its uncertain…

Infact nothing is certain in this world,

Waiting the certainty..we hover as the moths did..

And in the end

We fall

We fall

And we meet the Death so uncertain…

A Mothic Future indeed DW