Living your own dreams!

Photo Copyright me

I often forget that I am the character of my own dreams…
That distant imaginary, dreamy, blurry person is real & it is me…
It is sad that I often forget what long road I have traveled
And, what trauma that I carry within myself and that I keep alive
The pain, my friends is hurtful because I am the one, often hurting myself
Or thinking about that painful process
Fighting with myself and my own inner demons whom I never let fade away
But Friends,
I don’t lie when I tell you that I am living my own Goddam Dreams!
I question myself often: why this looming sadness, Sweta?
You seem happy, and how can you be so sad?
Well, I don’t know. I crossed very bad two weeks. But now I have come to my own terms on this weather we are blessed with, the clouds, trees, my swing, the land, the house, this pen, diary, every essence around me is echoing to me today:
Hey Girl, you are living your own dreams today!

Some hand written poetry today!

सपना

धमिलो धमिलो संसार…

इन्द्रेनी जालो कल्पनाको

बुनेर

आशाको घेरा भित्र

सम्हालेर

लुकाएर, छुपाएर अनी हुर्काएर

राखेको एक टुक्रा सपना

बन्द आफ्नो आँखा भित्र आँफै छिरेर

बन्देजहरु सबै चिरेर

मोज सँग देख्नेरहेछु

त्यही एक टुक्रा सपना ।

आफुले आँफैलाई नियल्दा

रमाएको देख्दा इन्द्रेनी जलो भित्र

लाग्दछ कहिले नटुटोस

मेरो यो निन्द्रा

नखोलम म कहिले आफ्नो नयनहरु

तर,

कहाँ सक्छु र म बसिरहन

आफुले श्रीजना गरेको

भ्रमको यो उज्यालोमा?

फुस्काएर इन्द्रेनी जालो

मेटाएर  आशाको घेरो

बाच्नु नै छ मलाई

रित्तो रहरहरु साथ

रित्तो अन्धकारमा…

केवल रित्तो अन्धकारमा

Erstwhile Existence

When

Y———–O———–U

Suddenly decided

To disappear

From the dreams

We dreamed together

I accepted.

Hadn’t I

Silently accepted

Your sudden entrance

Into my dreams?

Without thinking a single time

Thinking twice

Was never a choice…

Was there an exit too?

This is Today

Y————-O———–U

Chose to cease your existence

Your own choice though

Treading over my silence

Indifferent to the pangs of pain

I suffered.

Your chosen disappearance

Has transgressed yourself

To live

Under the self-exile of your

Own hibernation

Your own hibernation

Not me..

Not me..

Dreams ??

Close the eyes and dream tonight

Don’t dream old

Dream something new this time

Is it the brain or heart ?

Which one sketches the dreams of mine?

Twisting and Turning —

Turning and twisting all over the night

 Viewing a view seen only with the closed eyes..

Winged Dreams

Just a little dilemma..dreaming about wings or dreams are getting wings…..A hot coffee this cool evening…..strong…the laughter..and the fear….the disappointment..the rebel…the taste…the burning chest…and the sweet headache…must be two glass or cups….must be three…and then it goes…till ten…No, don’t want it now……..But…would love to….drink it tomorrow yet again……….with the same zest and same vitality…

The two chairs in front of each other, one occupied and the other with just the shadow, the smell, just this much. The two cups ordered, one with coffee and the other empty. And it goes on. Just the repetition nothing else and nothing more. Trying to revive the bygone but never it will be the same.

You are….

Many Many Thanks to Shilpi Joshi ( Didi ) Amazing Tibet

You are….

Just as  amazing  as the above picture….

You come up with surprises…..

You come up with love….

You bring love when the clouds above fall…

You come and mix up with me….

Like water falling in the river….

As if we were never unknown…to each other….

You come up with dreams …….