Comfortable Silences

Picture by Swapnil Acharya. Poem below is for the picture

Picture by Swapnil Acharya. Poem below is for the picture

Reflection of mine -you are

I fall for you not only once, Time and again

As, I feel you as me..

This feeling is Narcissus too

Worry not, I won’t kill myself.

You are that Mirage

Far far away

No, I don’t want to catch you

But I will love to sit back

Just to stare and watch you!

The Reciprocation of Life:

“See these clay pots, I simply love them”

“But I don’t, as they give pain when they break”

“These are not just made up of clay, these are made up of emotions, feelings, love and determination”

Comfortably silent we are now as we both stare and smile at the clay pots ruminating in our own worlds, holding up the words and keeping a mum. I love this comfortable silence we have between our discussions and the discourse full of affection. You know I love your smile that replaces speech, I love your lustrous radiant eyes that reflects your inner feelings, I love your long long breathe which gives me as sigh that you are actually enjoying this comfortable silence that we are having in between. Do you feel it? I equally enjoy this silence between us. I hold up the clay cup in which you are drinking your favorite Americano and I feel the warmth of it. There is a pleasure of holding the cup made by someone from a distant land whom with love and affection, care and determination gave shape to this China cup.  Do you know with our silent conversation you are shaping my thoughts with much feeling, emotions and installing determination in me, installing courage in me?

“Do you know you reciprocate life in everything?” Continue reading

सुनसान सुनसान !

केवल ईच्छाले छुन सक्ला कहिले  सुनसान धरहराले आकाशको चम्किने तारा   (फोटो: मेरो -एक साँझमा धरहरा )

केवल ईच्छाले छुन सक्ला कहिले
सुनसान धरहराले आकाशको चम्किने तारा
(फोटो: मेरो -एक साँझमा धरहरा )

प्राप्ती र अप्राप्तीको
दोसाधमा उभिएर
प्राप्ती भन्दा अलिकवर
लक्ष्मणरेखा ननाघेर
उभिएको छु म अप्राप्तीको काँधमा

आँखा तन्काइ तन्काइ हेरिरहने
शरीर मर्काइ मर्काइ
जोड सँग साहसले नाघ्न खोज्नुपर्ने
लक्ष्मणरेखा भन्दा प….रररको प्राप्ती
केवल हेर्नलाई मात्र रहेछ ।

मुखुन्डो लगाएर तर्सौन आउने
थरी थरी आकंश्याहरु
कहिले मुर्त, कहिले अमुर्त
भएर आउने भावनाको बाढीहरु
र यही बिच धुजा धुजा हुने सपनाहरु
केवल महसुस गर्नलाई मात्र रहेछ ।

Continue reading

Mokshya (मोक्ष)

Death

Comes and takes away

Soul so precious

Body so cold

Lifeless

Burns into ashes

Eyes so weary

Water rolls down the cheeks

So salty!

Death

Departure indeed

Frown everyone seems

Existence

vanishes with ashes

Death has just rubbed it away

Good Bye

Dead one

Shall never meet again

Monsoon Madness

Falling and Rising and Rising and Falling

Do you remember? But I have marked it in the calendar of my heart. Not only marked but I have engraved it so that it will never ever be erased. But do you? Have you? May be you had thought of doing so but you could never? Right? Yes, you will say “yes” abruptly. Enough blame game I played- you played- we played together. Cursing the poor old luck which did not have any courage to support either of us- we have cursed “luck” enough- we have cursed each other and ourselves enough. Feels like I could never in my life be so live again. Do you see?

Each year one circle of life ends and another begins. With a big circle we came to the Earth, each year the circle shrinks and the following year it gets smaller. Hadn’t I imagined when Illiyaa loved Nusrat in the novel “Lu”, hadn’t I wanted a silent lover like Illiyaa. Had I been as lucky as Nusrat? I can imagine. Imagination costs nothing. Not even a ticket, like the narrator says in the novel. How much lonely life is like Illiyaa’s ? You have everyone and you have no one? Continue reading

Sunday blues !

This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..

………………………………..

He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…

Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….

Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..

I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….

Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….

Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading

Above the clouds !!

Just want escape…with this hectic..some how hectic..or pretending hectic schedule of life..want to go above the clouds…

Escape..!! is my favorite word now..because I want to escape. I know exactly that  circular movement .. circle doesn’t have any ends, does it.

Moving since morning and till evening…

Who told Sysypus is not alive..He is alive. He is not mythical. Syspus is within us. We have so much preserved his presence that I sometime feel that I am a Sysypus. A circular movement, No any connection with any ends..on my own way..on my own path..walking like i know nothing. I have learnt to ignore things..I have learnt to boycott things. Continue reading

Queing up !!!

Pheeww…!!!

I was just scared of reading news about the strike called on by “Tharu Community “…..which will definitely halt the movement of Petrol…and without petrol life will become so helpless. And what about queing up for hours to get just few liters of petrol.

Why Petrol has become so much precious ? The more use of technology has made this I guess…the more use of materials have made this.

Queing up is the thing I hate. So many things come in my mind which sometimes become uncontrollable. The feelings, thinkings become so intense ( for me ).

When you are around so many people who are competiting you for moving ahead a inch. A inch …can you imagine the Bhrum Bhrum for moving ahead a inch on the pitch which is so mismanaged and people are so uncontrollable. Continue reading

Jaat Sodhnu Jogi Ko..

Fantastic !!!

WOW..I am spellbounded because I am laughing till today remembering the evidences of the drama I watched last Saturday. Such an wonderful representation of human predicament created in the form of laughter. A way the writer has presented himself and the director trying to make the audience think and think over the matter and contemplate I did the same.

In the introduction only it was said that the drama was very famous. At first I had thought seriously that this was a very serious. The issue was so much mind captivating. The wonderful dialogues and the wonderful characters make the play more and more interesting . The more you watch the play the more you feel energy for laughing. The more you get deep into it. You never know how the one hour went off.

The setting of the play at first Kathmandu city and after that a rural village. The protagonist of the play “Mai Narayan Gharti” played and splendidly potrayed by Sunil Pokherel is still in my mind. The expressive dialogues and the soliloquy of the character was really wonderful. The whole dramatic element was presented very much well. Everyone did their job very much nicely. Each character played by the actors was splendid.

Another Gurukul masterpiece , the paly made me contemplate. When we look at the plot of the play too it is based on the contemporary realities and its a beautiful picture of the contemporatry realities. How much a person longs for the Master Degree, how much he longs for the job and how much he does to save the job.

Its a struggle of a person for study, for job, for his post and ofcourse for money, for the name Professor. I found myself in the character because of facing same problem. Longing to study hard, finding job not for money but for myself. The longing for study, the longing for the Professorship…

Also the students of rural area their language and the traces of simple modernism in them the way they talk, the way the rural grown-ups are all very much protrayed beautifully.

Anyways it was a real treat to me. It was so fun watching the play. I am feeling wonderful now too. Remembering the play. I am palnning to go there again to watch it. Again feel the laughter again hear the people laughing freakly freely..the drama hall  with all the laughter.

Hats off to the all….the actors and also Mr. Sunil Pokhrel and yes the director Anup Baral.