Comfortable Silences

Picture by Swapnil Acharya. Poem below is for the picture

Picture by Swapnil Acharya. Poem below is for the picture

Reflection of mine -you are

I fall for you not only once, Time and again

As, I feel you as me..

This feeling is Narcissus too

Worry not, I won’t kill myself.

You are that Mirage

Far far away

No, I don’t want to catch you

But I will love to sit back

Just to stare and watch you!

The Reciprocation of Life:

“See these clay pots, I simply love them”

“But I don’t, as they give pain when they break”

“These are not just made up of clay, these are made up of emotions, feelings, love and determination”

Comfortably silent we are now as we both stare and smile at the clay pots ruminating in our own worlds, holding up the words and keeping a mum. I love this comfortable silence we have between our discussions and the discourse full of affection. You know I love your smile that replaces speech, I love your lustrous radiant eyes that reflects your inner feelings, I love your long long breathe which gives me as sigh that you are actually enjoying this comfortable silence that we are having in between. Do you feel it? I equally enjoy this silence between us. I hold up the clay cup in which you are drinking your favorite Americano and I feel the warmth of it. There is a pleasure of holding the cup made by someone from a distant land whom with love and affection, care and determination gave shape to this China cup.  Do you know with our silent conversation you are shaping my thoughts with much feeling, emotions and installing determination in me, installing courage in me?

“Do you know you reciprocate life in everything?” Continue reading

सुनसान सुनसान !

केवल ईच्छाले छुन सक्ला कहिले  सुनसान धरहराले आकाशको चम्किने तारा   (फोटो: मेरो -एक साँझमा धरहरा )

केवल ईच्छाले छुन सक्ला कहिले
सुनसान धरहराले आकाशको चम्किने तारा
(फोटो: मेरो -एक साँझमा धरहरा )

प्राप्ती र अप्राप्तीको
दोसाधमा उभिएर
प्राप्ती भन्दा अलिकवर
लक्ष्मणरेखा ननाघेर
उभिएको छु म अप्राप्तीको काँधमा

आँखा तन्काइ तन्काइ हेरिरहने
शरीर मर्काइ मर्काइ
जोड सँग साहसले नाघ्न खोज्नुपर्ने
लक्ष्मणरेखा भन्दा प….रररको प्राप्ती
केवल हेर्नलाई मात्र रहेछ ।

मुखुन्डो लगाएर तर्सौन आउने
थरी थरी आकंश्याहरु
कहिले मुर्त, कहिले अमुर्त
भएर आउने भावनाको बाढीहरु
र यही बिच धुजा धुजा हुने सपनाहरु
केवल महसुस गर्नलाई मात्र रहेछ ।

Continue reading

Mokshya (मोक्ष)

Death

Comes and takes away

Soul so precious

Body so cold

Lifeless

Burns into ashes

Eyes so weary

Water rolls down the cheeks

So salty!

Death

Departure indeed

Frown everyone seems

Existence

vanishes with ashes

Death has just rubbed it away

Good Bye

Dead one

Shall never meet again

Monsoon Madness

Falling and Rising and Rising and Falling

Do you remember? But I have marked it in the calendar of my heart. Not only marked but I have engraved it so that it will never ever be erased. But do you? Have you? May be you had thought of doing so but you could never? Right? Yes, you will say “yes” abruptly. Enough blame game I played- you played- we played together. Cursing the poor old luck which did not have any courage to support either of us- we have cursed “luck” enough- we have cursed each other and ourselves enough. Feels like I could never in my life be so live again. Do you see?

Each year one circle of life ends and another begins. With a big circle we came to the Earth, each year the circle shrinks and the following year it gets smaller. Hadn’t I imagined when Illiyaa loved Nusrat in the novel “Lu”, hadn’t I wanted a silent lover like Illiyaa. Had I been as lucky as Nusrat? I can imagine. Imagination costs nothing. Not even a ticket, like the narrator says in the novel. How much lonely life is like Illiyaa’s ? You have everyone and you have no one? Continue reading

Hide and Seek

You were right there in front of me….but I lost you once again…with the same level of stupidity and craziness. You were again playing hide and seek with me…as you always do…nothing has changed in you in months and years…You love seeing me in trouble…you love making me sad and you enjoy it…But you have done nothing intentionally….I can understand it is for me…that you play hide and seek so that I can find you never in reality…..

So, you are playing the real hide and seek. You love to hide making me seek you always in the nooks and corners. But you forgot that …you don’t need to hide….You don’t need to hide because you are inside me…some where in my mind some where in heart…somewhere in the conscious and whole in the unconscious…you lie…come on you don’t need to hide.

You are hiding again ! Phew ! How can I make you believe that you don’t need to hide….You hide physically away from the world that I can never ever seek you in the physical form…but morally you are here…here with me so you don’t have to hide at all and I don’t have to seek you at all.

But, I enjoy playing hide and seek with you the only thing that makes me feel a kind of attachment with you Continue reading

Sunday blues !

This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..

………………………………..

He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…

Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….

Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..

I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….

Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….

Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading

Cold

Don’t know why I am feeling so cold…so lone..as I had felt last September….I don’t want to be numb as always…quite and suffering with the pain…No, I don’t want to give pain to others because they don’t deserve it…the most beautiful people in the world..they can’t tolerate it…

Some days can be boring like this…Sweety must be chatting with her friends…as always..or facebooking…but I am here typing don’t know why I opt for this…writing…..Seems like …I am so habituated to my colleagues…to chat and laugh unnecessarily…backbite about Sweety, and a lot of girly gossips….but what if Sweety bans..it here at office.

I prefer imagination to reality. Coleridge has well said “Reality is dark dream”….Yes.. it is a dark dream…I don’t want to dream a dark dream…really it hurts to know..it hurts to realize which I don’t want to..
Continue reading