Posted on April 8, 2016 by Sweta Gyanu Baniya
I know Mountains~There is the strong reason behind you standing stagnant for forever and ever!
Close your eyes and tell me what did you see?
Black out. I saw nothing. Then I tried it again- something black and dark started to get accumulated around my chest and it took the form of a huge black, dark, gloomy and barren mountain. I have always disliked mountains, I felt like I can never associate myself with mountains. No doubt they are majestic, they are beautiful, they are breath taking too but somehow I can never say I “like” mountain- it doesn’t excite me as much as the rivers ~ that keeps on flowing on and on and on and is not standing stagnant for ages like the mountains.
But something that I saw around my chest was sadly not a flowing river, but it was mountain~ huge mountain and it had no snow, it had no greenery nothing. Never realized that I was carrying a big mountain inside me that is not very happy mountain, it is a sad mountain, it is a serious mountain. For, how long I have been carrying this mountain inside me? How long did it take to reach the huge height that it has now when I realized it is inside me? What are the things that have piled up to make this huge mountain? This is the pile of the fossils of feelings may be. All those feelings that I can personally feel ~ happiness, sadness, despair, anger, anxiety, fear, love, hate and on and on – may be all these things make the mountain.
Filed under: Coffee House Journal, Sweta's Monologue | Tagged: emotions, life, Mountain, Self | Leave a comment »
Posted on May 13, 2013 by Sweta Gyanu Baniya
You are utterly silent. You don’t speak up with anyone and act normal putting up the same smile that you have been doing for long and that you are habituated with. You bottle up yourself, you don’t share and you lock your feelings, sufferings inside the invisible bottle you have formed inside yourself. You had a bad dream and you live with the fear that if one day that dream will come true. You have been horrified by it. Yet, you don’t express your horror. But you control yourself. But you don’t speak out. How much speaking it out important? And how much it is necessary to control yourself and not speaking out? How long you bound yourself but not speaking and breaking the circle you are moving for so long and that you are already tired of? Yet, you don’t speak, do you?
All because of the ‘Fear’: Fear of situational changes, fear of behavioral changes, fear of pressure, fear of anxieties and most importantly fear of losing. How bad are we at losing? The fear of losing already gives us anxieties. What after when we lose in real? Is all the time winning the most important? Or it is just that you are tired of losing? Tired of losing all the very time and don’t want to lose anymore. Will not it be monotonous? At sometime will you not be tired of your own monotony? Continue reading
Filed under: Sweta's Monologue | Tagged: changes, courage, emotions, feelings, life, silence | 4 Comments »
Posted on January 25, 2010 by Sweta Gyanu Baniya
This is the story written in stream of consciousness technique …..
He came home being drunk as usual…the child is sleeping he doesn’t cares….I am waiting him with a hungry stomach….he really doesn’t cares…..I am so desperate for his words….he is damn indifferent…
Shaili, come on girl …wake up….you are getting late for your class…No mom….No….I don’t want to go to college today….I have unironed clothes and my hair is so dirty……I don’t know when this girl is growing up….
Mom….I need more biskut( biscuit) …says 3 year old Satish…No..more biscuit dear…you need to eat lunch soon….No No I need biskut…I need some more biskut….He starts crying …..
I stood numb…Why doesn’t he cares?….Why is he so much indifferent? I have been searching reasons what mistake I have done…..I stood numb as always….Biskut…Biskut….
Satish stop yelling….No more Biskut….Call your papa for lunch….
Oh ! your papa is here…. Continue reading
Filed under: Sweta's Fiction Corner | Tagged: absurd, absurdity, emotions, feelings, Illusion, soul, Stream Of Consciouness | 8 Comments »
Posted on September 9, 2009 by Sweta Gyanu Baniya
I left you miles and miles away……
With vows to meet again…..
I try to behold….your image….
In the clouds…I ‘d flown away…
In the waves….I’d sailed …….
Feels like you are here….
In the air…clouds…and waves… Continue reading
Filed under: Poetry | Tagged: Dramatic love, emotions, feeling, Heart, hope, Illusion, life, love, Mind, soul, thoughts, you | 6 Comments »
Posted on September 1, 2009 by Sweta Gyanu Baniya
Lights are gone
“so dark ”
Dark World !!
Dark Dream !!
Filed under: Poetry | Tagged: emotions, Heart, Illusion, Mind, mystery, thoughts | 5 Comments »
Posted on May 20, 2009 by Sweta Gyanu Baniya
Photo clicked by a fren !!!
Something I fantasize a lot, something that makes me feel so cool and something that I love truly from my heart. This arouse a feeling in me. A feeling that makes me feel so good. Reminds me of so many things. A grand treat for eyes. The blue environment , I feel so wonderful. I enjoy this blue environment whenever i behold these beautiful flowers on the tree and on the ground……A cool chill i feel inside, a feeling that’s so great.
“Blue Mimosa “, we call it Siris Ko Phul is something that I call a grand treat from nature ( esp for me ). This reminds me of the novel by Parijat, everytime I remember the description of this Siris Ko Phul…..thats so lively and thats so much heart touching.
Thanks to you who clicked a picture of Siris ko Phul….
Filed under: Coffee House Journal, Sweta's Monologue | Tagged: Blue Mimosa, emotions, feeling | 13 Comments »