Cold

Don’t know why I am feeling so cold…so lone..as I had felt last September….I don’t want to be numb as always…quite and suffering with the pain…No, I don’t want to give pain to others because they don’t deserve it…the most beautiful people in the world..they can’t tolerate it…

Some days can be boring like this…Sweety must be chatting with her friends…as always..or facebooking…but I am here typing don’t know why I opt for this…writing…..Seems like …I am so habituated to my colleagues…to chat and laugh unnecessarily…backbite about Sweety, and a lot of girly gossips….but what if Sweety bans..it here at office.

I prefer imagination to reality. Coleridge has well said “Reality is dark dream”….Yes.. it is a dark dream…I don’t want to dream a dark dream…really it hurts to know..it hurts to realize which I don’t want to..
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Chilly Hours

Chilly Winter mornings , and the chilly feelings, wanting the hottest coffee, wanting to again bunk, wanting to sleep five minutes more, wanting to be away from the world and again sleep and dream. Dream the dream I want to dream, whatever I feel is the best for me..or else what gives me the happiness of being me or which gives me happiness even while I am dreaming.

Chilly winds …..so cold, feeling the moves the wind blows and feeling the warmth on the chilly wind. Going with the wind, thumping heart because of this cold…Chilling the bones…Yes I don’t want to feel the cold so I go for heating myself, Yes the heater is there but poor us Loadshedding prevails. During warm summer we want chill and in this cold chilly winter we want heat. May be this is the human nature and this is something everyone want.

Its normal to go for chill in summer and heat in winter, but it is also normal to enjoy in the burning heat of the warm summer days and equally enjoying the cold chilly winters. At least I would love to do this. I would love to accept it as it is , accept the real real reality away from the dream I dream, away from the desires and thoughts that I believe, the ideals I live by.

Accepting this chilly days as of now and feeling it, trying to excavate something , yes me ..Yes myself after all, how much changed I feel in the summer and the winter days. Warm clothes that I wear like now, protecting me from this cold but does these clothes make me away from the feeling of being cold. No they just can’t stop me to feel the chill that I am feeling through the pores in this body or because of the sensitivity, what else that is making me feel the chill..Yes this December must be the one..that is making me to feel this feeling..but what but its not nascent I believe.

I am wondering about the changes that I feel while I am living sometimes there is heat and sometimes chilly..nothing to feel more than this the changing time and its wonderful magics,,,,the magic of feeling hot, the magic of feeling cold and the magic it does changing us day by day each day.

It is same summer and it is same winter and its is the same feeling but every time they come and go they lead me a little ahead, little ahead I go and little increase in the age just one number more… what else than this…a little more experienced I become, a little more BIG…

Oh its so cold today, the cool cool another  december day…nothing more..again passage of this golden time and I here wondering wondering how can I get warmth…oooohhh..nah!!! how can I enjoy this very beautiful cool cool december day..

P.S. Chilly hours ..with chilly feelings…

Wonderful

The chill outside and cool here inside..

Its wonderful indeed..

Why its beating differently…today

Forgot !! did I ??

How would I ??

Yes I dream Whatever, will that be fulfilled ever..

Its wonderful,

 Am I out of hues..??

The warmth..

The calm…

Its wonderful to feel..

The chill outside and its cool here inside..

Its wonderfull indeed..

Yes the nascent feeling…

Cold Cold Coffee !!! Nah!! Weather

I remember how I reacted seeing the cold coffee, actually what was it I really didn’t knew…then why did I ordered the Cold Coffee…because I was feeling real hot…that day..sun was burning me…and I didn’t wanted to drink hot and feel the heat. I thought lets give a try and I had ordered the Cup of Cold Coffee and that was so pathetic I couldn’t drink it whole…aba coffee pipe le khane bhanera malai k taha ( How could I know that Coffee is also dranked with pipe ) Moreover there was icecream…I have planned I would never drink a Cold Coffee because till I reached home my stomach was paining and I was perhaps suffering from a gastric attack….and what else I could do othere than say…I hadn’t eaten anything and that is why I am suffering from gastric…I lied….LoL and took medicine…yes Ranitidine…which has a permanent place in my dad’s medicine box. But the coffee was awesome I must say….there are some obscure reasons and I don’t want to disclose it here.

Well…Well…I was taking about cold but No, I hadn’t wanted to talk about Cold Coffee…perhaps I remembered something…I wanted to talk about the cold that is making me feel some thing romantic..actually I love this season or say this time period that neither its too cold nor its too hot..no come on Iam not talking about Spring season…but this begining of the winter season…and I loe this time period a lot…this is too romantic and when it rains in winter then…then  I loose control…I wold be in a state of tranquility and I love this part of nature…what ??? how it tranquilises me…a lot…I love the winter rain….just love rain…( but hate while driving )

I felt same coolness today…yesterday it rained whole day and today I was searching my winter clothes thank god I could not found it anywhere….and guess what it was so sunny today till I guess 3:00 PM. Then what again rainfall started and filled the atmosphere withsuch a calm that I was in tranquility yes I was…intoxicated….I loved the feeling of feeling what I don’t know…feeling of intoxication ofcourse. Thank god it was not raining while I was driving and the air I was feeling was awesome..I was feeling the cool breeze and my whole body and soul was feeling a sense of coolness…no I didn’t mind today’s jam…actually I was feeling nature..within me…I wanted to actially flow my arms…and run wildly…to feel the coolness of air…and hoped that there would be some drops of water from above sky…rain ofcourse…and I getting wild…running…running..runninga nd feeling and feeling and perhaps collecting the feelings in form of words…

This was a dream and I was driving…and when I was driving too I felt this calm and a sense of soothing pleaure came to my mind….I was enjoying the weather and this first feeling of cold weather…Actually I hate cold…when it reaches Jan and Feb ( my birth month ) because it is too cold…but I just love this signal of cold weather coming….some how not cold but too cool to be so cool…and I am hearing this hindhi song…it sounds too cool too..and enlgihtening…damn feelings…damn feelings

I really enjoyed driving today after feeling so cool after so many months of heat and hot weather which I dislike..then what I like is the question..I  like neither heat nor cold…but I need to accept…no I like them all…no I don’t what say..I have to accept….it…but I always like this kind of begining either it is Summer or winter or monsoon….I love the rains and that is why I never carry an umbrella….I love being wet …..

I welcome this cold weather again in my life…Life runs anyways…either cold or heat…anything happens…life runs….life should run…and perhaps I am doing the same….LOL. ( But to tell the truth the Cold Coffee was magical….I shall cherish it forever )