Phonemic hangover…

You utter….

I utter….

We both utter…

Phonemes together….

Whisper…we do it..together

Hard to listen….
Continue reading

Vows !!!!

I left you miles and miles away……

With vows to meet again…..

I try to behold….your image….

In the clouds…I ‘d flown away…

In the waves….I’d sailed …….

Feels like you are here….

In the air…clouds…and waves… Continue reading

Its you everytime…

I try to avoid you…get away from you but I you are so attached that you cannot be left away so easily…Things remind me of you….so much….I got an old newspaper…with something rolled in it…and guess what there was your name….Phew !!…I cannot tolerate…

You are like a boil…..painful…..Very much indeed…which needs  a lot of hardship to throw…all the white blood cells in my body could not fight with the bacteria…What about antibiotic tablets..but those tablets failed , as I failed….I could not drain you…because it was too painful…nor could I do avoid the pain….

How long I could stand like this…Its damn painful…God…I needed treatment… Continue reading

Deny!! Do I ?

Let the wind open it ….

The door it has closed….

Will the wind be able to open

The door which it has closed….

Same happen in love !!!!! ( ahem !! )

You came as a wind ………….

Locked yourself in “me”

Now, I am being uncontrolled….

Can you bring me back to “control”

I deny my “eyes” Continue reading

Sane or Insane

Searching…

Eyes are searching…

Heart is searching….

Sensitive…

I become senseless….

Feelings

I try to feel

That will completely go in vain..

Thinking of you…

Makes me sane

Makes me Insane…

I try to search….

The soul !!!!

I go insane….

You remind me to be sane…

You tell me …

I am sane or insane….

Rememberence

Heart beats faster and faster

When I behold the name, yes it is everywhere…

Eyes can’t control itself it flows…all the way..

I tremble, I tremble…could not stand…

Heart pounds so hard..

I can’t resist the pain….

No, I can’t resist the pain..

I can’t scream and shout..all I do is hide the pain..

Can you imagine it, how much its painful ??

Yet I am standing,

Yet I am smiling,

The moist eyes, the thumping heart, and trembling me..

Yet I am strong I feel…

I am reviving myself…yes through rememberence..

All I can do is remember…

The moments preserved by this poor heart..

All I can do is remenber

The warmth and the charm..the coffee indeed…

All I can do is remember

The eyes and calm…the tight warmth…

Helpless..fateless..yes I am..

Nothing to do than remember …

Rememberence making me alive…

Rememberence making me strong…

Rememberence I shall preserve..till the breathe stops..

 

P.S. Rememberence

Let me tell you a story !!! _ II

With the approval of parents the marriage was fixed. It was an affluent marriage ceremony as Binay’s father had aspired. The cars flooded in Samragi’s small house during their wedding, it was an achievement for her parents that she was married to such a high-class rich family. All were happy, Binay was happy to make his dream reality for the achievement of one of his achievement. But for Samragi something was missing and she was still confused to have believed in her faith and Binay so much.

It was too early, too early for both to have taken such a decision. They were too young for each other.

Life moved on, the rituals to be followed, the number of family’s and relatives to be visited were hard for Samragi, definitely there was a class difference, the high class and the middle one. This was still not a problem, Binay managed it all with his love and affection, Samragi his first and last love of his life, his wife and his parents first “buhari” (Daughter-in law).

Binay, intoxicated, spell bounded in love of Samrgai could not see the eyes of Samragi, which had always been vacant, no love, no passion, even the night they had made love. Binay truly loved her never attracted physically, so making love was not an issue either.

It was Samragi, who could not satisfy herself…..with Binay..who loved her so much, so much deeply…ardently…heartily…

The problem began when Samragi totally avoided Binay’s company. No one knew what she was searching for; she had everything a big mansion, money, a wonderful family whom she was related by her ever-loving husband. But her feelings were vacant. She realized that she had never loved Binay..

Love’s problem indeed, Love joined Samragi and Binay and Love created differences between them.

Samragi had fallen in love with another guy while she had not known Binay. She had told Binay that she loved another man. It was not the issue because Binay’s love was so great that she was attracted towards him. This had also happened because she never had expressed her love to him (the man she loved). When Binay came in her life, she found everything that she had wanted, fulfilling her passions for the thing for love. She had loved another man in the form of Binay because Binay was used as a filler of the vacant space in Samragi’s Love Life unknowingly.

There she was mistaken for her unknown passions that dragged her to marry Binay not as Binay but as a man.

Binay discovered that she had lost feelings for him. They fought instantly, even the simplest things. The marriage was ruining because Samragi couldnot handle her feelings that were zero for Binay, and passionate for the man she loved.

………………………………..                           

There after 3 years of marriage they were still together, she knew Binay could never live without her. She had respect for his feelings but the thing was she could not love him. Life has been ungraceful for Binay, the playful man turned out to be serious, always thinking about Samragi, how to win her heart, how to again resume the closeness they had when they had smsed each other. Always…he was deep…

Relationships are like sands, uncatchable…

Binay let Samragi flow her wings in freedom not as a husband but as a friend but with a condition that socially they are husband and wife, he let her share the love of her towards another guy openly with him. She went to date frequently, Binay kept quite. As usual, he hided his tears and the pang feeling heart, till it became unbearable..

Unbearable was the day when Samragi had a nervous breakdown because the guy she had loved before and after she married Binay was merely using her, was already married having a daughter.

Samragi was still loved by Binay and this became unbearable for her, because of the guilt feeling and she still was running away from him again finding the same man in Binay..and when it became more than the limitation, Binay stopped caring her…he stopped showing the affection and love to her.. He avoided her and yes they were Husband-wife socailly still today.

Binay started drinking and coming home late going out with girls paying for the night and trying to kill the love for Samragi which was never possible till he was alive.

Samragi gradually learned many things of life. She was immature enough to break her wonderful relation with Binay her ardent lover. She learnt how she was mistaken and the feeling of guilt made her even sadder and her eyes were moist always…

She tried to find love in the eyes of Binay, she was ashamed to ask sorry with him..how could she ask for it. She was not even forgivable. Is she??

 

…………………

Binay loved her more than anything else in the world. However hard he tried his heart felt palpitation whenever he was with Samragi…She was his first love without which he was unable live. His life would be incomplete without Samragi..Samragi was the beginning and Samragi was the end, Samragi was everything. Yes for Binay who loved her like anything, his heart’s need, his life’s need, his breathe, his hearts beating and his everything.

Love’s so uncertain in fact realization is also a part of love. It happened here.

Samragi realised Binay’s love..

Binay’s love finally won,his patience, his feelings, his ardent emotions won and Samragi realized that she too loved Binay she needed to give the same amount of love to him. She did that..she loved him finally…

Samragi still waits for Binay till midnight. Binay tries his best possible to come home at the earliest. They sit for dinner together. They talk, they chat, they laugh, and they share the love for each other..They are in love..

Their married life didn’t ruin at all because of love,  the relationship became stronger. They live for each other, they love eachother and now in few months they are having their first child….

P.S. Loves great..