Color Blindness

What more….I was color blind that is having  the inability to perceive differences between some of the colors that others can distinguish…..I admit it and I know it ….The deficiency in vision….to look at objects around me…. There are really different colors and when one is unable to distinguish it one suffers…one becomes victim of one’s self innocence and one’s own inability.

Had I wished for being victimized by the color blindness , No I was not….Lately I realized that, it was not color’s mistake….but was mine for being unable to distinguish between different colors…..i mean it was my mistake…Mistake of my disability….of having such an affected eye.

Eyes let us see everything….it is the doorway of heart I have heard…But what with the eyes which are color blind…. That makes me feel panic…that I am color blind, I am disable…I am not able to distinguish the color …..

Sweet Cigarette

Lighted me up

Like a sweet cigarette

Saw me burning till the last moment….

Love….as the sweetest cigarette…

Felt like ….a full moon….

In the darkest night…

Lately, I realized….

Cool November Rain-II

I would have written something like waiting for a Cool November rain in a desperate mood….trying to fight with self…trying to defend self…trying to win over self…trying to make self strong…and say that “There is no rain..this November as well”…

Then making self stable…making self limited….Limited in tears that have fallen…. in the absence of the rain…in the absence of the feeling…in the desperateness…in the mist of despair…and confusion…in the tranquility of pain….. and in the vacant space in life…a gap…to be lasting for years and years…

Like the solo walking in rain….which I was tired of… Like the rain itself while it swept away my tears….in eyes….but the month was not November……Like the each steps I had “climbed” alone…and like the voice in my ears…which came through the electromagnetic waves….( You know what I mean ) …..Like the steps again….which I had walked alone.

Cool November Rain

When mind hangs with the frustration and all…..When the journey is so much tiresome…When…nothing is visible at the moment…When ecstasy is right away….When realization hits like this…that…the moment of ecstasy….like seeing a full moon over the darkest night….Never the stars are so bright…as the Full moon….the loveliest feeling…the desires…and the moment of tranquility…..

Like a ugly duckling…who is exiled….everywhere….This piece of nursery story…ends so much optimistically that…it makes me think…it makes me realize that… something positive will be at the end…I need to survive till the end….to find out that positive ending of some “folk tragedy”.

Nusrat Fateh Ali khan….is singing…. “Yeh saam fir na aayegi ” ( This evening will never come again )

Void

Void ——- You created

Mystries and all….

Lost ……………….

And to be never found…..

Like a wonderful pearl…..

Deep !! so much Deep….

Like in the ocean Blue…

The void has created hole….

For you it is easy…..

For me….I suffer it alone…

Hard….

Saltless !!!

Salt less food….hard to taste…sometimes life becomes as sweet as Rasbhari….and at the mean time…it turns out to be Saltless food…by the way…Rasbhari is completely saltless….we don’t taste….salt in it….

Complications….desires….and everything …

What if people stop to desire…? It’s what leads to discovery….Desire led man to moon…( I really don’t know if the word desire suits here ?)

Desire led to discovery…the saltless food….

Desire led to face the moonless’s night…..

But Stars do shine…even at the moonless night…..What if life were a video game….

Blue Mimosa Hangover

Again read the book….and it is hanging me like nothing else had ever had…just a hanged head…and this blog..

Feels like piercing whole body with….needles….this is the line…where I always breakdown and cry…

Sometimes situation comes in life…like the main character of the novel has faced…he abandoned so many girls…and a girl abandoned him….

The male “characters” ego, power…everything just got destroyed….but the “female”…died…but didn’t surrender….

Love…he called it love….yes it was…i felt in every lines of Parijat….For loving so truly I have sympathy over..the character…I wish not to loose true lover like him…if I will have anyone…

Where the luck favors…love does not…some people like me…do not have luck..and that is why…there is no love…everything ….but not love…

Like the full moon…in the sky….I see it and gain pleasure…I get satisfied…that..once in a month…I can see the moon in the full shape…and get satisfied….

Some people like me…Some people like the main character of the novel….do not get what they want…they do not deserve it…and they are troubling self…running away from themselves…escaping..and escaping…

…………………

Mythical Bytes

Why I regenerate heart….everyday…

Like Prometheus’s liver….

To have it eaten….by a eagle….

Why do I roll up the boulder ?

Like Sisyphus does….

To have it fall again from the top…

“Myth or Reality”

Or is it Mythical Reality… ?

Cold

Don’t know why I am feeling so cold…so lone..as I had felt last September….I don’t want to be numb as always…quite and suffering with the pain…No, I don’t want to give pain to others because they don’t deserve it…the most beautiful people in the world..they can’t tolerate it…

Some days can be boring like this…Sweety must be chatting with her friends…as always..or facebooking…but I am here typing don’t know why I opt for this…writing…..Seems like …I am so habituated to my colleagues…to chat and laugh unnecessarily…backbite about Sweety, and a lot of girly gossips….but what if Sweety bans..it here at office.

I prefer imagination to reality. Coleridge has well said “Reality is dark dream”….Yes.. it is a dark dream…I don’t want to dream a dark dream…really it hurts to know..it hurts to realize which I don’t want to..

Vows !!!!

I left you miles and miles away……

With vows to meet again…..

I try to behold….your image….

In the clouds…I ‘d flown away…

In the waves….I’d sailed …….

Feels like you are here….

In the air…clouds…and waves…