Wine-y Tale

Was I drinking you all the time in each drop?

Was I drinking you all the time in each drop?

The stiletto was shaking – because the legs were trembling. It was my 8th glass already. I wanted more this day. I wanted to get drunk as a skunk. Eventually, I was getting drunk. The vision was getting blur and blur. The dark red wine was working. It was gradually intoxicating me, slowly and gradually. How did it work, so magically? I wanted to dance, laugh, and sway away all at once. Was it bringing my inner self outside and that also so publicly? It was magical. It was magical to feel nothing. In the blurry state, while vision was blurry, people were swaying. Stilettos were shaking. I was swaying here and there. I wanted to forget, forget everything, every emotion – be it happiness, sadness. So, it was working.

I am on my 10th glass now. And, I regarded it my last one. Suddenly, I find it is ugly to drink. It was tasty no more because something was happening inside, as if there was a hurricane in my stomach. From the food pipe something was coming upwards– Dang! — I was about to puke! Thankfully –I didn’t because I couldn’t. I couldn’t – Why? The reason I don’t know. I had to stop -drinking. But the previous glasses were working it was still magical because I was going deep. Searching myself somewhere inside. Was I meditating, while I was unable to think anything? Or was I searching and digging out some memories? There was some music and I was dancing. Dance makes me forget everything. It feels passionate to move dangerously, banging head, and jumping like you never did and you don’t care if anyone sees you, don’t even care you might break your favorite stilettos, do you?

I was lost. Lost somewhere in the zero. Then I started searching myself. It was hard, I was ignoring something that is inside me, something that has been troubling me, something that I was acting indifferent to. Then, I fail. I can cheat myself no more. Then, in my utter drunkenness, blurriness, and silence — I suddenly found you. I couldn’t find myself in me, but I saw you. I found you. Yes, I found you.. I didn’t know what to do next – be happy that I found you in me or be sad that I have already forced myself to ignore your existence? What divides happiness and sadness? What are the archetypal principles that define happiness and sadness?

It was you whom I wanted to erase from my mind. It was you whom I wanted to forget. For erasing you even for few minutes — I gulped glasses of wine. Yeah, I was intoxicated, damn intoxicated. But in my utter drunkenness as well, it was you whom I saw…No I hadn’t put on my glasses — yet the vision was clear — I was envisioning you– Just like while I saw you for the first time in my life….I wanted this moment to black out — just forget everything –even that in my life some fine day –I met you –with shy smiles, with sparkle in my eyes, with joyous heart and without any idea that you would mean so much to me. Here this is today — I just want to forget –I ever met you in my life.

I kept on swaying outside –totally wasted ! You kept on swaying inside my head — in absolute intoxication. It was “me” whom I forgot and it was you whom I vividly remembered all the time when stiletto was shaking… I was fighting with myself all the very time – to rub you off my mind — but in vain — it is you all the time over my head…. in my sheer silence –


3 Responses

  1. You know my secrets so you know I like what you wrote here! 🙂

  2. And I think same with you too 😉

  3. “I kept on swaying outside –totally wasted ! You kept on swaying inside my head — in absolute intoxication.”
    Real yet Beautiful!

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