November Drizzles

Nov 12 ..Whoa..and it rains!

Running in the Rain (Found it in google)

We live at the ends of the world -far so far -unreachable to each other-unseen to each other-known and at the same time unknown to each other. I ignore you and you ignore me. I am indifferent to you and you are indifferent to me. Year(s) went away- but it remains same -doesn’t it? I don’t have to prove -you don’t need it too. Why don’t you and I untie the knot that we created for ourselves? Aren’t we living in zero -that we created for ourselves? Everything is damn inconsistent but why the hell are we designed in such a way that the feeling -every feeling-happiness or sadness so are so static? You grow-I grow-the world grows -seasons changes-but why feelings don’t?

This November breeze coming right from the closed window -strikes at the soul-freezes it and makes it numb. I enjoy this numbness. I enjoy this striking freezing pain. I enjoy your flash-backing memories. I enjoy the painful feeling of our good times. I wonder always – Why imagining of holding your hand was so much satisfying than catching the real hands of yours? But why the real hug of yours crossed away the boundary of satisfaction 1000 times more than that imagination gave?

The warm hug of yours which transferred the smell of your body in my clothes first, my body in the second and thirdly and most importantly my soul. You know — I have kept the dress I wore that day (your favorite) as it is –it smells of you — I never washed it because of the fear of losing your smell — it might go away with the air –but what about my soul that smells of you?

Do you remember I gave you two roses that day? One white and other yellow ? Symbolizing many things but why not I dared giving you the red one?– Because you were snatching me the right to love you that very day – you remember knowing that you could never ever snatch away the right from the one you gave your heart to. The very day you deleted me from your facebook account — I accepted that – the next day you didn’t respondto 100 calls of mine–I accepted that–Then when you  responded –you called it the last conversation –I accepted that. I knew the very fact that the very day you deleted me from your life I accepted that–Quietly–Silently–Sincerely.

This is the very same November when your departure from my life was fixed–choice or an obligation –God doesn’t knows –you know it better–most probably I may know it –but I pretend and I believe that I don’t know anything. I hate hate hate November –I hate November…But I love it as well –It brings you back again–It revives memories back again–It makes me feel good again with the most bad thing I faced in my life. What more bad can it be than the reality that –you have lost the key and the lock remains locked forever and you lack and you will forever lack the guts to crash the lock..

And –When November drops ~ It gifts me with a feeling of yearning of you and your memories again ~It makes me feel happy that once in lifetime I had met you ~once in lifetime there were you beside me ~ once in lifetime you had held a promise~ a promise of loving ever and a promise of never returning back. A promise of never ever returning back ….

Today is the 27th and I wait for another version of the November Rain so ardently…..

On a different note : Certainly, I never want November to be rained out. Like previous years – I certainly did wait for November Rain. On the 12th day – Sky fell -it had to give me drops-November had to had fulfill my desires and certainly it was fulfilled. Hadn’t I had heard the Guns n Roses song during my teens and seen the video of Axl Rose crying impatiently and singing so widely- my passion for November Rain would not have been such strong -Well I believe it though I am not that GNR fan.

8 Responses

  1. I don’t think this is a fiction.. because somewhere this piece of writing matches things with whatever I have to do with November… and Quietly, Silently and Sincerely, you have written what was something related to me… THANK YOU for this great thing you wrote.. pitch-perfect!

  2. Thank you Sharad for reading and feeling as well..

  3. –but what about my soul that smells of you?
    The best one

  4. There’s gotta be sth about this november rain because whenever people write about it, it sure gives numbness to you. All of a sudden you want november rain so desperately so that you can sit beside the window in ur room and feel the chill outside speaking to ownself. And the way you’ve written is just like, AWESOME!!!! keep it up.

  5. I wish I could add up your comment and make it another paragraph in the blog :). You know you have a flow in your words…that made me more desperate for the rain… Thanks a lot

  6. Rain always attaches it self with lots of romanticism

  7. November rain- Intense. I look out and see the sunshine, yet the sense of November rain makes the day feel dark, dreary and sad….

  8. Thank you sir for you comment. Yeah sunshine this year all the time – One more day to go lets see what happens 🙂 May be this November is for being happy not sad?

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