Aim(-Less)

Asked a teacher while I was in grade 5,  What is your Aim ? ( It was a general question to all the students )

More than 75 % had raised their hand ( including me ) to become a DOCTOR , I don’t know what craze was that….But being a doctor was an obsession, a long cherished unfulfilled dream……

I left obsession, when a tight moral slap ( not visible ) Life gave me …and I forgot about being a doctor indeed….

I feel jealous of you white coats….I admit I feel damn jealous…so I try to avoid Hospital as far as possible…

…………

When we two meet ( me and my friend with whom I spend 5 college years), we talk so much indeed we do a lot….We are to be find aim-less hanging around new road…talking on and on and on…about our new hobby or any thing just new….

I, I found myself more aim less……sometimes it stresses me a lot…

I wanted to be a skilled Doctor, then it changed to nurse, then it changed so vast that I could no more be back to the medical field… Ending up…with Humanities ….Ok I have no complains…

But , I don’t have any skill,….I was poorest at Mathematics….Was I ? I never understood SIN, COS, TAN……haha !

I don’t have any skill !!!

Nor I can take a good photograph, nor I can make something good like Handicraft, nor I can paint, nor do I have knowledge of beauty parlor.. nor can I play something, nor can I sing or dance……Just nothing….

No anything ..I know…just Nothing….

Just talking that I can do….changing the mind minutes by minutes….I don’t have anything fix in my mind ( by the way same with my friend as well ) I must say we are just hanging around with talks never implementing anything in our life….

Just a circle we have created around us…and when we start from a point we end up in the same point…

Like Sisyphus…( I love Sisyphus , Sisyphusian story, life just everything ) ….

What…I don’t have any specialty…People are born with such a great specialty and they turn it into their aim, profession and their identity….But I…

I thought ( in fact we thought , same friend mentioned above) we will do photography making one of our friend teach us, then we turned into cycling, then to art also to be taught by a friend, few months back we were to learn handicraft don’t know where it lost, then we made numerous other list …All in vain !!

Life is not easy as roaming around new road more than 4 times in an hour….haha !!

I don’t believe in faith or the lines in my hand…or even the horoscope …..I feel it funny…

Sometimes I even thought to study Jyotish shastra…haha very funny and I remember sanskrit language….haha !!

Poor me…in fact poorest me !!

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8 Responses

  1. धेरै ठाउँमा छोयो मनभरी ! सोचिरहेँ निकैबेर अनि के सोचेँ भनेर फेरी सम्झिरहेँ ………………………

  2. woow…loved the flow……same here…..:)………i love so much reading you…….keep it up…..

  3. aim ,dream soso? what 2 say ?say to listen hee haa.yestai ho.great

  4. life is not planned….but some where we have to plan it…. bt i must say, this writings doesn’t portrait the reality… you have written just about doctors…bt not about yourself…not about your profession…. i’m seeing the bright future of your profession…and you are not aimless…hehe… 😉

  5. “More than 75 % had raised their hand ( including me ) to become a DOCTOR..”.. hmmm.. this is nothing but the social burden that every children face.. some come out of it and for some it becomes the lifelong burden..which they have to carry willingly or unwillingly…..
    But I think time is changing now.. In the country like ours there is scope in every field but it is equally challenging too..
    Like many others youths you are also confused somehow… bt I don’t think you have to worry about it.. “Do what you like, like what you do”, I always follow this statement… Do whatever you like the most and give your hundred percent to it…you will notice the change in you..I’m sure.. n I believe…. everyone born with some reason, we just need to figure out that…. 🙂

  6. timijastai aru pani dherai manchhe chhan..(may be more than 90%)..jasle bachha belama liyeka sapana pura garna sakeka chainan ….child levelma socheka proffessionharu ta bastab ma bhannuparda hamilai rataiyeaka boli hun jo hamilai jasto sikayo testai bhanchau….

  7. thnx god i was not among 75% haha kosle sodheko ni??hmm seeet way to express urself !!!! it was like am reading myself only difference is that it was with ur skillful words:)
    u r gud at this!!!!!!!!!!! n who said u cant sing?
    i heard u sing song once!!!! haha
    u right big gossips n dont know where to put in own life:P ……..SIN COS TAN (dull too)YUP… everchanging seasonS of hobbiz…
    haha gr8 one

  8. Poor u…..

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