Undisputed existence

Laila says to Tariq ” I am not going to cry! Not over you. Not in a thousand years” ( Book: A Thousand Splendid Suns, page no-: 107)

But I could never say this …..at least to you….I can never stop the rolling tears that….rolls instantly with a flash of your remembrance……You remember the tears were flowing like a flood….when I had heard that ………that you were leaving forever….in the land of heavens….moons and stars……

No matter what…….where ….you go and reach…..your existence is undisputed…..you have won over me….my true self….you knew such that no one else knew it any how and any ways….

You have undisputed existence over my heart, mind and soul. Even my ruins will have the same undisputed existence of yours. A respect that I had have in me…for you…..has never been shaken and never been changed…..never been disrupted…and never thrown away from my mind…..and my heart…and my true self….

I could have smashed all the memories…but I know I can never do that and I will never because they are the only way for me to live…..be alive and then feel the airs of the same satisfaction that once…I have been provided….

I have stop searching you…….outside….in the roads…that I have walked with you….the stops that I had left you…….in the rains….in the ruins of my dreams and imaginations…..in the desperateness….in the deleted smses….in your name…in the alphabets….in the syllables….and the people with your namesake……..I want to deny your existence in me…..I want to free myself from the clutches of the reality that…..that time ….spend with you…that green grass…and that green lined Tshirt….and the polished shoe…….the painted nails…..the fading rotting roses…I want to free myself..
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Lost moon

It comes….

Once a month in a full shape

To restore the feelings

Again and again…

It reminds the woes of past….

Time really really runs fast…

Eyes shine…in the moonlight…

Salty water rolls down….

I wipe it….all…

The wet tissues….

I throw it….all…

Useless it becomes…

The water that flows….

It comes and goes away….

Promising to come next month…

To wet the eyes again….!!!