A Monologue

When I revive feelings for you …that I have suppressed and ignored , I must say I have tried to suppress and ignore for a long period of time..I hate when it revives like this with simple girly gossips and everything…every little thing …the thing  associated with you…Why the hell i am so stupid that I try to make you mine in my imaginations and feelings….You know we were together always in my day dreams …I would be always busy to wait for a glimpse of yours….while moving by the same way……and peeking through my terrace…..My stupid teen mind would always pray that someday I will get time to talk with you…someday we will walk together….someday we will be together…..and I used to be always busy in making dreams that for sure won’t turn into reality…..( Come on…my stupid mind )

A sub conscious mind is always saving the memory of yours…..a clear good picture of yours that I have saved since a long time….Stupid mind never deletes it….and there is always a secure place for you….The sensible ears always rings….and with sound of your slipper…that was always in hurry sound…You were always in a hurry…I don’t know why…..My teen heart ….fell for you…

You reoccur like ….the sun…like the moon in my mind….like a daily routine…when the thing that my heart had thought as “love” reoccurs….as it copies a daily routine…and it satisfies itself….as it had longed for you so hard…

I remember picking up the red rose flower for you….writing secret love letters….reading out loud in front of my friends…but scared that if you ever find out that I actually feel different for you…then you will never forgive me….you will not be same….then the secret love letters were torn…or thrown away….

How innocent was I ?…..Stupid….could not think about another girl with you…and cry out loud…every night…Uff teenage mind…how stupid I was…how naive…. 🙂

But then…you were never mine….in reality….reality sucks….I prefer imagination….than reality…You were always mine in my imagination and day dream……those innocent dreams…Why the hell I have to live in reality?

Those feelings of innocent heart….and those innocent crying eyes….How rude was your behavior? Can you imagine you never noticed me….you never try to notice me…and you never ever noticed my ……for you… !!!

Pheww….this day….while typing these lines…I am feeling damn nostalgic….and remembering ……you with these girly gossips……and reviving the feeling….I had always ignored ….I had tried to ignored… !!!!

Come on !! Get out of my mind now !!!

You are like a mushroom you are growing somewhere in my mind unknowingly…….

Come on !! Get out of my mind now !!!

( Written for a colleague)

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12 Responses

  1. Because it is a teen love… 😛
    Grow Up Girl…
    😉

  2. Good thought…..loved it 🙂

  3. .I prefer imagination….than reality…You were always mine in my imagination and day dream……those innocent dreams…Why the hell I have to live in reality?

    Liked ur feeling more in these words.

    Rest of all…agreed wid Anil;
    Grow up girl…grow up…..ha ha ha ha ha

  4. jawani ko josh……growth ko sanket…… nice one…

  5. Come on !! Get out of my mind now !!

    You should try ..not he ………

  6. Nice…… Reminded me of mine.. 😛

  7. अब हाम्ले चाहिं भन्नु पर्ला

    come on get in to my mind..hurry up

    सुख्खा लागि राख्या छ

  8. awesome expression of thoughts… the speaker seems conversing time and again…going back to flash back and remembering every bitter experiences with his/her loved one…the speaker is clear that the beloved never understood his/her feelings… “men don’t listen and women can’t read maps” a book written by a couple based on research…men want their women to understand many things even without explaining them and female they cannot read those maps diverging from their men’s life or mind…. however, men are pathetic, their superiority complex keep them SPEAKING SPEAKING AND SPEAKING…discarding their counter partners’ feelings and emotions… the consequences of these facts are meticulously presented in the MONOLOGUE…

    two thumbs up!!!

    down to earth presentation…simple yet strongly expressed!

  9. highly meditative…

    a humble request to my previous commentators; in literature the author and the narrator (first person narrator in ‘A Monologue’) are completely two different facets…so the speaker is not the author…the speaker is just a creation of author… so nth personal!!!

    more about on ‘A Monologue’ it beautifully presents the unstable state of mind… the speaker is trying to avoid the thoughts of his/her beloved with full consciousness but unconsciously s/he is unable…

    “Come on !! Get out of my mind now !!!”

    “You are like a mushroom you are growing somewhere in my mind unknowingly”

    out of five stars, FOUR and a HALF!!

  10. Nostalgic…….yes, it makes me too. But then, though, the past was very rude it is always a feel good thing in this present time. Who cares?????? We must love today.

  11. beautiful presentation. I liked it. Thanx for an oppertunity to read it.

  12. Well, thats a true love i guess. Such a feeling that’s been kept in mind for such a long time “safely” amazing. We see so many people in our life, interact with them and still some of the faces are not easier to forget? Love doesn’t have any age …its a lovely feeling that keeps us inspiring( if we take it in positive way).

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