Its you everytime…

I try to avoid you…get away from you but I you are so attached that you cannot be left away so easily…Things remind me of you….so much….I got an old newspaper…with something rolled in it…and guess what there was your name….Phew !!…I cannot tolerate…

You are like a boil…..painful…..Very much indeed…which needs  a lot of hardship to throw…all the white blood cells in my body could not fight with the bacteria…What about antibiotic tablets..but those tablets failed , as I failed….I could not drain you…because it was too painful…nor could I do avoid the pain….

How long I could stand like this…Its damn painful…God…I needed treatment….to throw you out of my body….

You are like a boil…virtually though…as the boil….infects deep in the skin….you infected deeply in my soul…you started as the boil..red in color…the color i love the most….I didn’t noticed…..till you became so painful..that I needed to drain you out of my soul…I did….that is why I am here….I survived the boil in soul…but you were so clever that you left scar…that black…scar…could not be removed…Damn..!!!

And why are you so recurring as the boil itself…time and again….time and again..giving same pain…giving…same feeling….The more I try to avoid you….the more you haunt…in many forms….like the Dark (K)night….like the lamppost….like the BOIL….it self…

Yes, I am here with this boil..in leg..which is making me…so mad..and this flu…Uff…can anyone suffer two disease at a single time….

Yes..you are this seasonal FLU as well….which makes me suffer so hard…every season…more difficult than boil to tolerate…Time and again…I promise my self..I will take care of myself…with so many suggestions…but you occur…and occur..and reoccur.. and reoccur…so miraculously that I also don’t get any signal of your arrival….like the Flu…and like the boil…in my leg…

Definitely, I am having a lot of pain right now, I want this physical pain  to heal the mental pain you have given to me…What…? The  mental pain seems to be superior than anything…..this physical pain seems nothing…and this is not making me feel pain…right now…See you are a winner….you have won over me….

And…its you ever time…who wins….

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8 Responses

  1. well, what can i say. nice one. ‘u’ tried to win but ‘he’ won again. why can’t ‘you’ win. believe in ‘urself’. ‘u’ will surely win. and hey, next time i want to read stories where ‘you’ win, ok.

  2. Haven’t read very well expressed journal of pain before… 🙂
    Do take care and get well… 🙂

  3. Well said Jeewan…Nice post…You r mixing different story in one post…I must say 2 in 1…Bt didn’t like that 1 story,it was repeated in every blogpost… I need something new in story but it always gives me same taste,same plot,same story… You must came out frm that hang,whoever that ‘he’ was,n whatever he had done…Story should be inspiring nt frustrating like this… I’m not satisfied with your this type of story…always the same n repeated story,dialouge n plot…like,”u’ve done this n that,deep inside me,u hurt,u’vent care my feelings,u’ve played with my fellings,u win…blah,blah,blah…” Yes,m nt satisfied with your writing… Do take care and get well soon… 😉 wish to read some new inspiring story in next post…gud luck 😉

  4. hi SWETA , Nice to here for the very first time .. you got good blog with so much domestic decorations 🙂 .. wish you all the best and keep writing !
    I jusr read your story .. just feel like to tell at this moment is , yea its really hard to heal the scar of our heart once it goes truely and deeply but we must aware that we shouldnt just hang inside that darkness , we must overcome with full of guts and find out the way where we can spread our hopes and dreams for a refresh life .. just think that if he can win over you and its everytime n get happiness being apart from u then u must also wake up and be confident with postive thoughts, you will also find ur own way n you will realize in that point telling urself why i didnt do it long back .. pls go ahead and try to catch back ur all smile and pleasures with new form… best of luck !

  5. Dear Sweti…
    Getting to read your blog after a long time, I was pretty excited! But what I get is the same old story of ‘frustration’, ‘rememberence’… pain… blablabla…
    Come on dearie, no matter it’s your true story or fictional, it’s time you or the character get out of the ‘past’ no matter how bitter it was… There’s no point clinging in the past… clear your mind and soul… it will do no good…and no, it won’t ever make your stories soulful either… we want to read some happy happy things… some really significant development happening around with you or your character…
    Get out or pull out your character from the whatever cocoon of the past… live your life.. let your character live her life… life is beautiful… just let yourself or your character go out and seek the beauty of it. I know you or your character will emerge a winner – someone without pain, someone without any complaint of the past… someone painless… someone who will be able to write “It’s ‘me’ everytime”…
    I wish you all the best… believe in yourself, believe in the power of ‘present’…

  6. Nice

  7. This is a interesting entry. I’ve always been a fan of this kind of thinking. I’m hoping that this continues a revival of this kind of thinking along the same lines.

  8. disliked the surrendering tone of the speaker…

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