Here is the assumed talks with other two dead ones-:

Sweta-: Reema ( Name changed) dear reema last time I went your home on your six month anniversary and it was so hurting, the feast was very big and your big smiling potrait was making me hurt. The day after your death I was there at your home. Your dress which you have wore when you killed yourself. You know dear , I have not cried like this in anyone’s death or ever because I was hurt so much because of your death and moreover when I came to know the fact that you have suicided. Dearie why there was the need to suicide, just because the Chemistry exam that you thought that you could not pass. I regret for not calling you when my brother had the NIST question that were supposed the leaked questions. If I had called you once then, then I think you would not have suicided because of the fear of passing the exam. I regret and regret a lot dearie. I have faced your death with my eyes the cloth you have used to tie your tender neck with and the celing on which you hunged yourself. The haunting memories of yours though I have not talked with you and never met you as a person but I remeber the funniest sms you have send me. Dearie I miss you a lot tell me why tell me what was the reason for your suicide….

Reema-: I want to live. A mistake took my life away dijju, I want my body to be back, I want my family to be back. I regret a lot a lot for killing myself. I don’t know anything why the thought came to my mind , I don’t know why I committed a sin. That night we have laughed a lot, eating my favourite Gundruk in our new kitchen, but when I started studying then I felt I don’t remember anything , the chemical reactions, the notes anything and it frustrated me a lot. Then I thought the thing I have told to mom last night that I will drop my paper and how mom had consoled me I can’t do that. I remembered my SLC % it was distinction , being a distinction holder in SLC I could not just fail the exam. My reputation , my aim and everything would just fade away. I thought then what should I do. I stopped studying and went to bed. But could not sleep, my eyes vacant staring the celing and the feeling came to my mind that I must die and inorder to escape from the reality. Reality would bite if I fail, what a shame would it be to my dad and mom. Then I thought of hanging myself and within few minutes I hunged myself without thinking anything and anything not even not thinking of the small sister who was sleeping beside me. I regret and I feel sorry for kiling myself and I feel so bad about the loss of my biological existence because I want to live. I regret of suiciding and I would never want anyother to suicide like me. Life’s too precious, however I have been the victim of the society and the social status..and I feel hurt  every moment I feel this. A tag of suicider in my name. I feel bad so bad…

Sweta-: Would not I feel pang dearie…I wish I could spell a magic and make you alive but your biological body is burnt and has already turned into ashes…I wish I could ..I could give you life …that you want to live. I wish…i adrently wish…..

P.S. -: Now I can’t talk with another one…whom I have mentioned in earlier blog…I just cant….it is hurting me..making me feel the immense pain becasue of death.


2 Responses

  1. was with immense courage that u have strated nec-romancing.and no wonder it could not go long…it hurts ni of course..padha padhdai malai pnai lagyo ki I can read any further..what a poignant reminds of my own loved ones..who were dead..and smtimes I feel like channeling too..but I shudder even just at the idea..but u seem bold…you can do sth big big in fiction..go..try out !!

  2. Tei I tried but I coudn’t do in this case because her death has hurted me unlike anything. I kept on crying for so many days and at times I kept on staring at the celing and thought of her hanging….it was painful

    Thank u so much dearie for this encouragement.

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