Tearful Distress

Posted on by enigmaticsweta

 

Just I am not being able to console myself…..She came to my home as she did always to give us a Mana of cow milk….I see my grandmother on her and she loves me too. We crack jokes often about us and she has been a real entertainer and I enjoy her company a lot. She quite often lets me remember my grandmom who had passed away a long ago (I could not enjoy her company) and I find this hollow space within myself and a void space…..I know that cannot be fulfilled because the biological existence of my grandparents is over…..I could find them nowhere in this world….but she, she reminded me of my grandmom….always as she teaches me to do a lot of things in my kitchen garden…like “banda ma mol halne” ( meaning putting incecticides / Vitamins  in my new sprouting cabbage ) which I have implanted….etc etc…Just meeting her five minutes is a pleasure real pleasure. With her ever smiling face and her traditional looking Newari clads and the new milk bottle….( she used to carry the old one and it had been some 15 years but now it has a hole ) and distributing milk over our society….I must admit that the milk has half water hahah…But today she was not as humorous as she was and she used to be yesterday ….infact yesterday she didnot came and I missed her I must say but today ….It was such that she and my mom were talking and as usual I went downstair, wanting to listen the gossip of two women but there was no humorous atmosphere….but a serious one a real serious one…. and indeed made me tearful because she had tears in her eyes and couldnot speak a word ……The ever humorous atmosphere has changed today and I found it hard to tolerate and thought to express it through this after all I could express this no where…She was stressed because she just found out that her youngest son to whom she and her husband had so much aspiration and dreams is in DRUGS…..We knew it ealier because he is from our locality…but those extermely simple hearted people ( his mom and dad ) could not find out because they couldnot believe the words that their son, the youngest one is in Drugs …..It pained me because it had pained her…All the vains dissappeared now …..She has been sick and her husband he couldnot come out from his bed. Such a tearful distress…..I could not tolerate her pain because they were the simplest people belonging to Newar community and having a traditional business of farming and they also own some cows and they sell milk but they are rich because each penny they save. Quite rich to let their son into drugs!!!…They either are uneducated they let their youngest son to read in the best college and now he was to become an Engineer. Four lakhs already invested to him to study at Khowpa Eng.. College and again he dropped out from there and they again spend 3 lakhs to admit him in another Engineering College….but today he says after six months that he will not study and his family excavates that he is in drugs….he smoked infront of his family members …..I could have slapped him so many times and kick him… but how could a mother’s heart do that…She cried that her son has promised that he will leave it from tomorrow…and I know he cannot leave it ….It has been years I know and my mother knows… I remember that my big brother (cousin) was too on drugs yes he is rich too but we could never know that he was in drugs until he got rehabilated….When I heard that it was heartbreaking how peolpe go for drugs so easily either they know how harmful it is…by the way they are educated too…I hate it seriously hate this ….The increasing number of drug user in community and the helplessness like her’s….I have this believe in my brother that he can never say yes to drugs….if he does that it would be death of me before he will die….a real death of me….I expect a lot from him…..not for myself but I want him to suceed more than myself….reach those heights that I could not and be successful …All I believe we need to give a good treatment to those drug users to drag them out of the hell of drugs and to reestablish themself…..I found her moving towards the gate….her eyes full of tears that she cannot see anything…she could not close the door too and went on crying…making me feel her pain in the inner core of my chest…my chest’s paining a lot as if he was my son who was in drugs…..a tearful distress…clouded over my head…..

P.S. Please Say no To Drugs…!!!!

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