Living a life in a small hell

You might be thinking what I am writing here in this writing….Yes I am writing about a small hell? Again you might be thinking what is this girl telling and what is this small hell? This small hell is where you live and where I live. I call this world small hell because it is small and a mixer of both heaven and hell. It is small because a part of it is hell and in this hell I live. What it feels like living in a small hell, I know and some of you may know it too. Apart from the hell mentioned by Milton in his epic Paradise Lost this hell is not that much pathetic but this hell is a psychological hell. A hell where there is obesity, psychological pressure, emotional falsity and so on. This is a psychological hell, psychological in the sense that in this hell you are going to loose your emotions, sacrifice your feelings and then you just get a strong sense of frustration that makes you miserable and makes you fall. Fall without any crime not fall as Satan fell in Paradise lost not fall that Adam and Eve fell too. But just for being so lose and so simple that you are made to fall in this world. As an example of this I can give you a logical example that a straight tree in the Jungle is cut first because they are easy to be cut off and they are made to fall, just because they stand straight. This is applicable to our life too. Because the more we are straight and the more we are simple we are made to fall in this world. This is my true experience of life that I am made to fall and I am made to be miserable just because being too simple. Everybody is waiting for perfection as the tramps did in Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. Tramps are continuously waiting for Godot but Godot never comes. Godot here means Perfection that never comes in human life. Like they were waiting I am too waiting for the perfection that never comes in my life. I am perfect in myself but world see me with its eye of imperfection. This imperfection feeling of the life makes me to feel embarrassed and I feel I am Living in a Small Hell. A hell where perfect becomes imperfect and happiness turns out to be frustration, a hell where continuous pressure of the people just makes you mad and makes you to feel the worst of all. But the irony is you are never worst. The sense of realization that you are perfect is captured by the world. So, you are not what you are. You are what the world tells you are. Your character is decided by this world and world creates your presence. If you think anything other than the world and you try to go away from the world this world makes you nihilistic. So this is the hell I am living. And this is my feeling living in a Small Hell.

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