Isolation and I

Our Major English teacher was giving a lecture on John Milton that day. I found the lecture really an interesting one as it captured my mind and heart. Every word of the teacher was creating image of such a passionate lover of words. Listening with an immense concentration, I was creating my own world in which I was screening Milton with the words of my teacher. As teacher said Milton’s father was a big business man and wanted his son to become a great scholar and intellect, I remembered my mom who always argues with me that she wants me to be a great person with high level of acumen. She wants me to become Parijat, Rice or Thatcher.

John Milton lived his life in complete isolation in the library with books only. He was a voracious reader and a passionate lover of books. He was so deep in learning that he forgot days and nights. He even forgot that he was a human being and need to have his emotions released. He was not companionless because he had books but they didn’t have life. He was indifferent from the world and his own emotions which would have made him a pure human. “Wow! Such great lover and such a great reader”, I was telling it to myself. Meanwhile the teacher happened to ask us-” Who wants a life like Milton?” Unexpectedly, only one hand was raised among thirty students who were Majoring on English, and it was mine and the teacher was shocked. Even I didn’t know why I did so. I think it was a “reflex action” indeed.

Every one fears solitude and hates isolation but me. Its surprise in itself a teenage girl who is supposed to live life full of romance i.e. with full of bliss, pleasure and enjoyment is telling like this. Yes, I want a life full of indifference, isolation and seclusion. I am delighted in solitude means I don’t want to be in any relation that gives me nothing else than pain, shame, humiliation and outrage of being “me”. Yes I want to forget that I am a human being like Milton did. I want to be unaccompanied, because I don’t want to be loathed and detested.

I want a life like that of Milton, full of isolation, full of indifference and full of words i.e. full of reading. I want to be great in myself. I want lock myself in words as Milton did. I want to be powerful in terms of my expertise that I don’t want to care anything else in the world especially possession, power and prosperity. Not to be bound in the network of relatives and friends. For Milton library was his home, his world and his universe and I want the same. He required no body to sustain his life except books. His isolation and his made him great and most celebrated epic writer and I want the same.

I know how it feels to be isolated but still I want that because I am really frustrated and aggravated because of humans I need to call relatives and friends. Yes, I am discouraged but still I want to live a life because I know life is precious and I want to enjoy it in Milton’s way i.e. Full of isolation, indifference and seclusion and of course words and books.

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2 Responses

  1. “Congratulations for posting your articles! I enjoyed reading them and hope to read more from you. I will put this side on my Favorites list. Please come up with beautiful writeup like this and others…”

    ( This is the first comment I have received on this writing and on this blog on the very day when I had created the blog on August 07…Perhaps I deleted it somehow…but thank god it was saved in my mail….)
    I will cherish this comment forever DW

  2. You used to write a lot… 42 posts in September 2008….. that’s amazing…..Enjoyed reading older posts… Keep writing….
    🙂

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